Sparky, a golden retriever and proud Illini Service Dog, has been awarded by the National Federation of Service Animals (NFSA) for going above and beyond the call of duty. Sparky has reportedly been a good boy for the past five years.
On top of receiving a golden bone commemorating the grand achievement, the award also includes a $25 gift card to PetSmart, a gallon-sized bag of Beggin’ Strips, and a personal belly rub from Edward Thorpe, Director of the NFSA. Thorpe explained the intense vetting process that top notch canines go through in order to be considered for the award:
“Our organization looks at a variety of factors when choosing the top dog for the award. Can this dog fetch beers from the fridge? How long can he play dead for? How many hours of fetch has this boy logged? After digging up a ton of research, I can say with 100% confidence that Sparky is, in fact, a very good boy,” exclaimed Thorpe.
Sparky’s owner and trainer, Daniel Wilson, adopted Sparky a few years ago to help further his training and agreed wholeheartedly with the NFSA’s decision to commend his dog.
“Sparky truly is ‘a good boy’ and a good wingman,” Wilson enthusiastically said. “I used to have to pound half a fifth of Burnett’s just to be able to talk to women, but now with him, girls practically just throw themselves at me. I get to bone girls doggy style and he gets all the pets and treats he could want. Life certainly isn’t ‘ruff’ with Sparky by my side.”
Zombies, footballs, and beers oh my: