Name: Elizabeth Koenig
Instagram Handle: @elizabeth__koenig
Relationship Status: In a civil union with my bed.
Favorite Drink: Bud Light Platinum
Favorite Shot: Body
Disgusting Drink: Baja Blasts, you need to stop pls!
Of all the bartenders at Joe’s, who would win a bartending competition? Why?:
Me. This is my spotlight.
Which suburb is Joe’s most like? Why?:
The Bronx (yes, I know that’s in NY).
What goes on at Joe’s after closing time?:
If I disclose that information, we’ll all definitely be fired. Basically a complete and absolute negligence of human health.
What’s the best reason to be awake at 5 a.m.?:
Refer to above question or ask my liver.
Besides M&M’s, what melts in your mouth but not in your hands?:
Mom are you reading this? If so, Slim Jims.
If you had to stop shaving one part of your body forever, what are you choosing?:
The back of my knees I guess. I can never hit them, anyway.
What’s the best thing to huff?:
The three little pigs’ house. Why? What else did you mean?
What do with the bones?:
I dance and make money moves, then spend them on Jäger bombs.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
It provides the youth on with campus useful information, like whether you should hook up in the woods or the porta potties at barn dance.