A favorite event on the Illinois campus is the Joe’s Bikini Contest, sponsored by yours truly, The Black Sheep. We caught up with last semester’s winner, Jessica! Jessica was a chemistry major that graduated from UIUC back in the spring. Here’s what happened during our interview with her:
The Black Sheep: What was the highlight of last year’s bikini contest?
Jessica the Bikini Champ: Winning money.
TBS: “Winna winna chicken dinna.” Only winning, though?
Jessica: Boy, it’s all about the money.
TBS: Why’d you sign up for it last year?
Jessica: I really needed money for a plane ticket back from Europe. I was supposed to go on a trip for 2 months and I had money to get there, but I didn’t have money to get back, so my sole option was bearing it all on a stage at a college bar.
TBS: So you’re telling me you did the contest so you could eventually make a Brexit? Let’s move on. What was it like telling your parents you won a bikini contest while you were in college?
Jessica: I didn’t tell them. If it comes up in the future, I’d tell them, but there is some shame involved in telling them I let guys throw singles at me while I was in a bikini.
TBS: Are you at least going to tell your kids before they go off to college?
Jessica: I’ll tell my grandkids. How’s that?
TBS: Fantastic. So what advice would you give to contestants for this semester’s contest?
Jessica: Get really drunk, don’t be embarrassed, do whatever and go with the flow. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and you could win cash by just leaving it all out there.
TBS: Some serious questions now, how are you currently honoring Harambe?
Jessica: [chuckles] To be quite honest, I didn’t even know what that was until someone told me about it a couple of days ago. I’m not [honoring him], is that a bad thing?
TBS: Absolutely, how disrespectful can you be? To the next question: what would your campaign slogan be if you were running for President?
Jessica: Free alcohol.
TBS: Funny, that’s what I want after this interview.
Catch us chugging some 40’s on the tables at Lion with Jessica, the winner of Spring 2016’s Joe’s Bikini Contest, sometime soon. And while you’re at it, don’t miss the Fall 2016 Joe’s Bikini Contest on September 28 at 10 p.m.! If an $1,000 cash prize sounds good to you, sign up for the bikini contest here.
Check out photos from the Spring 2016 Joe’s Bikini Contest here.