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Oops: Chancellor Bobby Jones Walks Into Union Movie Night The Exact Moment A Sex Scene Comes On

Unfortunately for the straight-edge losers at last weekend’s movie night showing, Chancellor Bobby Jones was doing a routine walk through of the campus facilities when he walked into the room to check on the event at the exact moment a sex scene came on.


“There was literally a two-minute nude scene,” said Houston Checks, the Illini Union Board Film and Weekend Director, of the movie in question, “I honestly can’t believe this happened.”

Movie nights at the Illini Union are typically an opportunity to go out with your friends and enjoy a free showing of a great film if you’re not cool enough to indulge in substance use.

And since the Illini Union assumes all students coming through are at least 17, they’re comfortable showing R-rated pictures. Naturally, some of these films have smatterings of sex and/or nudity.

“He walked in and let out a loud ‘Whatcha watching?’” recounted Jak Moynihan, a student present at the showing, “and that was when he noticed the screen. The whole room went dead silent for the entire two minutes that a pair of women’s breasts were on full display. Afterwards, he just kind of shuffled back out without saying anything.”

Many students found the event deeply traumatizing.

“Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? To have your Chancellor walk in right at a moment like that? I think I’m going to reserve my movie watching to my dorm from now on,” Moynihan said.

The administration has reported that the Chancellor would rather just not talk about it, and pretend it never happened.

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