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Parents of UIUC Graduate Surprise Them With New Divorce

From cars and money to new watches, it’s common for graduates to be showered with gifts for doing the absolute bare minimum. New graduate Mark Davidson got one life-changing gift he’ll never forget, especially come Thanksgiving.

“They say family is the greatest gift of all, and they were absolutely right. After spending like 30 minutes searching through the Memorial Stadium crowd to find my parents, expecting a big hug and maybe a new iPhone, they sat me down and told me they were getting divorced,” said Davidson. “I wasn’t looking forward to living at home for a year before I inevitably move to Lincoln Park, but now I don’t know which home I’m going to be miserable in.”

The family dynamic will unfortunately change, but for now, Davidson will unfortunately have to deal with a very uncomfortable car ride home with the newly separated parents.

“Not only did they surprise me with a divorce for my hard work as a James Scholar, but the three-hour car ride home back to Naperville is going to be pretty awkward,” said Davidson. “The only time people are going to talk is the occasional ‘excuse me’ after someone coughs or sneezes. I’m really looking forward to that.”

The Davidsons plan to have two separate graduation parties that directly conflict with one another.


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