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Playground Enthusiast Mistakenly Joins Illini Swingers On Quad Day

This year at Quad Day, UIUC freshman and playground enthusiast Nathan Miller happened upon the Illini Swingers booth. A longtime aficionado of playground equipment, he was overcome with excitement at the chance to relive his best childhood memories, even if he took the Illinois Swingers way too literal.

“In high school I had trouble finding people who enjoyed learning the ins and outs of slides and jungle gyms as much as I do, but now I feel like I may have found a great group of like-minded individuals!” an excited Miller explained. “They were so welcoming and seemed to enjoy group activities!”

As he got to know group members, Miller, a long-time record-holder for furthest swing jumper, seemed somewhat confused as to the group’s purpose.

“He talked a lot about monkey bars and roller-slides which was a little weird, but it’s nice to have someone in the group with outside hobbies,” said Brian Kushfield, the Illini Swingers president.  

“Usually people join as couples, but Nathan came right up to our table on his own and seemed really enthusiastic.” explained Sasha Young, a longtime member of the group. “With his interest in playground equipment, I’m sure he’ll be able to spice things up!”

Members of the Illini Swingers were similarly confused, however they are looking forward to seeing him at their first party. Miller’s first outing with the group will take place this Thursday at Sasha and Brian’s apartment, nicknamed “The Playground” by many in the organization.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.

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