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Report: 80% of Sorority Girls Google Search “Gourd” Before Curtis Orchard Instagram Post

Fall weather has finally arrived in at the University of Illinois, leading hundreds of sorority girls from the active Greek Life community to flock to Curtis Orchard & Pumpkin Patch. Recently, a new bombshell study has revealed a horrifying truth about many of the young women in these photos and their pun-filled captions.


A new study out of the Pew Research Center has revealed that 80% of sorority girls have to look up what a gourd is before making their Instagram captions.


“Behind every Brittney’s and Samantha’s spark of utter brilliance, there are at least dozens of Google searches ranging from ‘Wait, like, what’s a gourd?” to ‘How many calories are in a gourd?’” said researcher Mark Reynolds. “There’s nothing wrong with a little double-checking to see what that ugly, pumpkin-like thing called a gourd is before they make a clever pun out of it.”


UIUC Kappa Delta Brittney Jones confessed that she Google searched the meaning of “gourd” before posting on Instagram.


“When I picked up that goad thing so I could put it on my Snapchat story and let everyone know I was at Curtis, I was like, ‘Oh my god.’ And my friend asked if I said ‘Oh my gourd’ Because that would be an awesome Instagram caption,’” said Jones. “I didn’t know what she was talking about because I thought I was just holding a pimply pumpkin, but after I Googled it, I knew I had struck comedy gold.”


Jones’ innovative pun and a nice Valencia filter got her Curtis Orchard Instagram post to over 250 likes. Her self-esteem was temporarily boosted until she saw the 200 other similar gourd captions later that day.

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