During the summer of the past year, Barstool Sports popularized the phrases “Saturdays are for the boys” and college campuses ran away with it. But with gender discrimination still being a very real issue in the 21st century, is it ok to let this trend continue? This week, two The Black Sheep authors make their respective claims to find out once and for all:
Jungle Fever: Clearly, Saturdays are for the boys. It’s the one day to bro out with your bros like you can’t do the other six days of the week for one reason or another. There’s no other “no homo” way to post an Instagram pic with your #squad in child-sized basketball jerseys and Sperry’s than on Saturday after you’re done bro’in out.
Thomas ‘Paign: I’m pretty sure Title IX affirms that Saturdays must be for everyone, not just for boys. If you give Saturdays to the boys, that means girls are left with Sunday, and unless you’re all about finding Jesus or playing bingo with your great aunt, that’s a bogus deal. Can’t we give women this one win for putting up with man’s shit for the past couple thousand years?
Jungle Fever: That’s a great idea! Sundays can be for girls! We’ll take brunch and bottomless mimosas and daytime naps and you boys can stick with a stale beer bong and whatever Easy Mac you found at the back of your pantry to eat during your midday break from Red Lion. I think this compromise works out best for both parties. We’ll see ya on Monday.
Thomas ‘Paign: Ok, let’s get back to your point. On what authority are you claiming that boys can simply just take a day of the week and call it theirs? Like, are girls just gonna have calendars with the Saturdays X’d out on them already or something? It makes sense for both sexes to share the day, unless you want to devote an entire 24 hours to a big ‘ole sausage fest.
Jungle Fever: We can just take the L on Saturday, take a nice bath, use a face mask, reflect on why men ain’t shit. I think we could all use a day like that at least once a week. Why not just take the day as a collective group? Men obviously want Saturdays so bad, and will probably just take it anyway.
Thomas ‘Paign: You’re just going to concede the best day of the week to the boys? That’d be like Susan B. Anthony giving up on the women’s suffrage movement and going, “Oh well, I guess voting is for the boys.” They say well behaved women seldom make history, so I think it’s imperative that girls get shitty at Block right alongside the boys.
Jungle Fever: Well Susan is trash, so I’m not in the business of trusting her opinion on things. You see where we got in this last election with white women voters. At the end of the day, boys will be boys and take over Saturdays whether they deserve it or not. Just like they have for decades.
Thomas ‘Paign: Boys will be boys? You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s time for women to act and have 2017 be the year that Saturdays are for the girls! Just imagine how empowering a women’s appreciation day every week would be. Take that, misogyny.