UIUC senior and sister of Chi Alpha Nu, Traci McFadden, was looking to give her resume a boost so that she could have an edge on that one fake girl in her house, whose older brother she “may or may not have hooked up with, and who actually went to a Career Fair, like a bitch would.”
“Bold move of her becoming a Victoria’s Secret Brand Ambassador when she knew I wanted to be one first,” said McFadden, unprompted, to no one in particular. “Fuck it – if she can do it, I can do it. I’ll become a brand ambassador, too.”
Obviously, McFadden couldn’t also become a brand ambassador for Victoria’s Secret, and she didn’t actually want to put in the work that goes into being one anyway.
“I’m pretty active on Tinder, so I thought that it would be more authentic if I fake worked for a company I trust,” McFadden said. “I have to pay to be a premium member, so I’m basically like a stockholder anyway.”
McFadden’s super fake sorority sister, Kelli Thomas, was taken aback when she saw the LinkedIn notification that McFadden started a new position as a Tinder Brand Ambassador. The mocking logo asking her if she wanted to congratulate her was too much.
“I actually put in a lot of hard work towards being a brand ambassador, a lot of people don’t understand,” Thomas complained. “All Traci had to do was show too much cleavage on her Tinder profile.”
Now, both McFadden and her resume are bangin’.
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