This week, the members of the Lambda Alpha Mu sorority at UIUC found themselves one sister short after terminating a member for failing to use the chapter’s geofilter for fall 2017. Lambda Mu’s Standards Board voted unanimously to oust senior Josephine “JoJo” Nuñez after what the president of the sorority deemed “an egregious offense against all values that Lambda Alpha Mu holds dear.”
The creator of the geofilter in question, Deputy Assistant Vice President of Branding and Public Relations Hannah Levitz, was especially let down by her former sister’s actions, as the use of the new geofilter was a requirement for all members.
“When JoJo made out with and then vomited on my pledge husband at KAM’s Country Night, I was able to look the other way, but this crosses a line,” a fuming Levitz explained. “I never wanted it to come to this, but with formal recruitment just around the corner, we need to do everything we can to convince girls on campus that we’re a fun and flirty house that’s totally worth the $2,100 a semester in dues.”
Despite the heavy backlash she’s received from her former sisters, Nuñez described the sense of relief she felt entering her new life as a geed.
“To be completely honest, I’ve been trying to drop this sorority ever since second semester of my freshman year, but the process to drop is ridiculously complicated,” said Nuñez. “No more being locked in the basement to make shitty crafts or suffering in heels for 12 hours while practicing recruitment chants dubbed exclusively over Katy Perry songs. Sweet freedom!”