Connect with us
Connect with us


Students Drop Harsh Reality from 309 Rooftops

A University of Illinois student was internally injured Tuesday evening after a harsh dose of reality was dropped from the twenty-third floor of a 309 apartment balcony and fell to the north Green St. sidewalk.


“I was walking and it literally just hit me,” junior Karl Burns said, rubbing his forehead in confusion. “I just found myself thinking, ‘I guess there will always be people in the world who think it’s fun to drop stuff on other people from really high places.’”


The junior said he didn’t even consider the possibility of a flying object crashing into his skull as he walked home to his Champaign apartment where he had an entire evening planned to bother no one and mind his own business. “One second you’re talking on the phone with your mom, telling her how awesome the city is and how great it is to have everyone back in town for the school year, and then the next second you find yourself dodging debris like you’re filming a sequel to Platoon or something.” 


Burns said he’s also dealt with projectile reminders that the world can be a shitty place and sometimes people just do things just to do things while walking past Red Lion on Friday nights where he was once reminded that the shirt he was wearing “makes him look like a little f*****.”


“Sometimes it’s a drunk guy at a bar, sometimes it’s just the way someone looks at you while you’re walking to class,” Burns said of the frequent callbacks to why issues like racism, sexism and bigotry have existed throughout human history. “Even this one dude at Wendy’s who cut me in line somehow raised the ever-burning question in my mind: Why?”

Continue Reading

More from Illinois

To Top