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Illini Take Break From Facebook to Pay Attention to Lincoln Hall Lecture

On Thursday, a report was released that an increased number of students in Lincoln Hall at the University of Illinois have been taking breaks from Facebook in order to pay attention in lecture.

The report, which was published by the university’s College of Media, states that students are spending about 20% less time on Facebook during class than previous semesters, and are consequently retaining information from the lecture.

“I find this news to be troubling, to say the least,” said MACS 100 professor Steven Maxwell. “People are paying attention to my class? This is a very real fear in academia. I was only able to get up on this stage because I figured everyone was watching dog videos. I’m having a panic attack just thinking about it! Do you have any Valium?”

Many students are defending their breaks from Facebook, claiming that the constant updates in their News Feeds is just too exhausting.

“It’s, like, really hard to focus on Facebook memes for that long,” said sophomore and MACS 100 student Stacey Perdue. “Sometimes the FOMO is too much for me, and I need to listen to the professor for a little while.”

“I know we’re here to get an education, but scrolling through my phone for fifty minutes straight really cramps up my thumb,” stated junior and fellow MACS 100 student Tommy Ortiz. “They can’t really expect us to be on our phones and laptops the entire time, right?”

The university issued a statement, saying that the faculty is doing everything in their power to fight this trend of students paying attention in class, starting with a full revamp of the UIUC Memes for Underfunded Teens page by 2020.

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