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Study: Taking Shots Without Chasers ‘Can, Like, Cut Calories In Half,’ Says Group Of Binge-Drinkers

Next time you pick up a cup of Sprite to wash away that oh-so-familiar burn down your esophagus, you may want to think twice about your chasers.

A new study put together by college students in Champaign-Urbana who “binge-drink on the reg” revealed that cutting chasers out of your diet can, “like, totally reduce your overall calorie count for the day.”

Tanya Smith, one of the lead drinkers of the study, gained a whopping 35 pounds, which she said went straight to her ankles, from “chasers” alone.

“After cutting out chasers from my drinking activities, I’ve lost, like, all the weight I gained during my college career,” said Smith. “Back when I was a bitch for not taking shots straight, I was scared, alone, and actually now that I think about it, super hungry for boneless wings and pizza after every night of drinking, which I gave into almost always. But back to the point – cutting chasers from my diet. Saved. My. Life.”

After reading this very unreliable study conducted by Smith and like two of her friends, it turns out chasers may be responsible for “30% of weight gain in college students, which when you think that it’s out of 100%, is a lot,” said the girls.

The girls added that “scientists” recommend drinking straight vodka only from now on if you want to avoid the freshman 15.

“Tanya is the one who introduced this diet to me,” said Samantha Loft, Smith’s sorority sister and former fatty. “I’m no longer afraid to show off my body, AND my esophagus is stronger than ever.”

Disclaimer: The Black Sheep still encourages you to eat the recommended servings of fruits and vegetables.

Oh Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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