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Tenure to Townie: Esteemed Professor Gambles Away Life Savings on Legends Slot Machines

Addiction hits hard, and hits indiscriminately. Gordon Chandler had it all—a prestigious 30-year reign as Professor of Economics, a laundry list of publications, and enough accumulated wealth and respect to make him the envy of Champaign. However, Chandler’s life has taken a turn for the pathetic since he becoming addicted to the video slots at Legends.

“This must be very enjoyable for you. A tenured professor gambling away his life savings on a negative equity game. The irony is delicious, I’m sure,” explained Chandler. ”You wouldn’t believe the number of undergrads who used to try to prostitute themselves to me. Now I’m stuck on Green Street with the bums and com majors, and the only thing on my mind is winning it all back.”

Chandler sits down with a posse of bums outside McDonalds, and takes a long pull of what looks to be Mad Dog 20/20.

Chandler’s mental and physical states have deteriorated — heavy eye bags distort his face, cigarette stained teeth revolt passersby on the rare occasion he smiles. His scalp seems to have rejected his recent hair transplant, yet he carries on.

“I lost everything to these damn slots. My wife left me, and the bank foreclosed my house,” said Chandler. “I lived in my Beamer for a while, until I sold that too. It would be one thing if I lost it all in Vegas, but here in Champaign? I don’t plan on sticking around much longer.”

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