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Top 10 C-U Releases for Record Store Day

Oh, sure, all of the Urbana kiddies who aren’t in the know might flock to that brand new Brand New re-issue of Deja Entendu on vinyl or that self-titled Swans EP, but little do those indie heads know that the real sounds of C-U have been right under their lo-fi noses. Here are some of the underrated gems of Champaign-Urbana’s under-underground music scene getting limited Record Store Day Releases.

 

10.) Quasi Mofo – Bitch’s Bells (12” Vinyl):
The classic-crunk album that put the Altgeld Chimesmaster on the map, this Record Store Day exclusive features the filthiest bangers the administration doesn’t want you to hear every hour on the hour – all done on chimes, of course.

 

9.) Kyle’s Roommate – I’m Gonna Break That Kid’s F*****g Guitar, I Swear EP (CD):
Colloquially known as a more refined version of the More 00s Alt Rock Covers Nobody Asked Me to Play demo, spiteful Quad passersby can now enjoy their collective loathing of Kyle’s prick-of-a-roommate at home or on the go. “Good Riddance?” Hey, that track’s on the album!

 

8.) The Coach Formerly Known as Zook – Ambient Illini Vol. 3 (12” Vinyl):
Rarely showing his face in public around the UIUC campus these days, the former-head-coach-turned-avant-garde-drone-artist is slated to release the final piece of his Ambient Illini triptych. A concept album composed primarily of football field recordings, captures the essence of thousands of screaming fans berating a lone coach battling against existentialism and the Big Ten.

 

7.) 5-Guides – Walking Backwards 2 Ur Heart (7” Vinyl):
An endearing ballad from the ‘30s sung from the perspective of five I-Guides fighting over one “intimate Illini gal,” this release is sure to go fast considering it was the quintet’s last before their ill-fated and abysmally-received The 5-Guides Sing Chief Illiniwek and Other Native Croons.

 

6.) TOP HAUS – Wen Kennst du Hier? (Cassette):
A krautrock-revival outfit serving as a collaboration between several frat stars tired of the “top house” pissing contest, the bros settled their differences when they gave the ’95 Frattle of the Bands an electrifying performance pretty much everyone forgot. This Record Store Day cassette pressing features a remix of their standout track fit for any edgy prankster who normally queues Rammstein songs at Murphy’s.

 

5.) C.W.A – Slizzard Blizzard (7” Picture Disc):
On this Chancellors With Attitude release, MC Wise packs a powerful conscious hip hop punch on the titular track “Slizzard Blizzard,” which sadly failed to top the charts after its untimely release two winters ago.

 

4.) Jed’s Dead – Bat Out of Terre Haute, Indiana (12’ Vinyl):
Recorded during the “Black Nail Era” of Brother Jed’s troubled yet incredibly prolific college years, the campus evangelist seems to gloss over his blackened death metal sleeper hit during his sermons about unprotected hand-holding and zealotic assholism.

 

3.) Timmy Beckman and the Lose – The “Eh” Years (2012-2014) (CD):
Spanning across what’s unanimously considered the most mediocre chops from his catalogue by sports critics nationwide, Timmy and the rest of his 60+ piece ensemble, the Lose, are poised to put out their most “meh” jams in this lukewarm compilation.

 

2.) The Coil Brothers – STEM It Up a Notch [Open House Mix] (10” Vinyl):
Every year without fail, prospective freshmen engineers are taken aback by the electrifying performance by the ever-elusive Coil Brothers. Never seen without their infamous spherical Tesla helmets, the Coil Brothers have become a masterful electronic duo with their signature renditions of “The Imperial March” from Star Wars or their minimalist take on the “Super Mario Theme”. 

 

1.) Easter Rising – Can’t Get No Resurrection (12” Vinyl):
Easter Rising’s classic “Can’t Get No Resurrection” is being released for the first time since its limited ’69 original pressing. The proto-new wave record that inspired dadrock staples such as Talking Heads and Devo is expected to sellout instantaneously, however, due to a record-breaking number of pre-orders under the name of “Eobert Raster.” A dedicated fan, indeed.

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