With the holiday upon us, many Halloween slackers are scrambling all over campus to find the perfect costume that will spark their Yik Yak debut. Many will inevitably make the worst costume mistakes, all for the sake of being “clever.”
10.) Carrying a Prop: It may “complete” your costume, but a prop is enough to kill your vibe as you grind up on a Miley-wannabe at Lion. Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? “Sorry, it’s just my styrofoam sword…”
9.) Anything with Balloons: Your “bundle of grapes” costume idea sounded clever at the time, but now the static electricity has you pinned against the wall with balls of hair stuck to you. Eventually your costume will look like the floor of a five year old’s birthday party as people play “pop the balloons” all night.
8.) Slutty Versions of Children’s Characters: There’s nothing like reminiscing about your childhood like watching a slutty Teletubby take a body shot off Tinkerbell. The internet has already given us Rule 34 pics of Elsa (and the bulk of the animated Frozen cast for that matter), so why try to best what some horny, middle-aged DeviantArt cartoonist has already creepily perfected? Then again, Halloween is all about scarring children for life, right?
7.) The Joker: We get it, you liked The Dark Knight. However, paying homage to Heath Ledger by performing your impression all night only desecrates his performance and makes you look desperate for a cheap compliment. No, his voice wasn’t that nasally, and he didn’t lick his lips that much. Save your impressions for open mic night at the Canopy Club, bud.
6.) Anything with a Wig: If you think your costume looks more realistic with a wig, try again. The rat’s nest that comes out of the packaging is a hideous mess that only ends up shedding in peoples’ drinks or used to dress up the guy who passed out. You’re better off using that $10 investment for a bag of Caramel Apple Pops.
5.) Wearing a Horrendously Offensive Costume: Your Walter White/Ebola mash-up hazmat suit may seem hilarious amongst your drunken friends, but in all honesty, it’s in poor taste. You’ll be star of the party… as the person who single handedly made everyone uncomfortable just by showing up. Oh, you’re going as an ISIS soldier? Watch yourself on that edge, man.
4.) Complicated or Intricate Makeup: Unless you’re an aspiring makeup artist, you’re likely to botch this one completely. On the off chance your makeup comes out stunning, you’ll spend the rest of the night protecting your masterpiece from make-out smudges on Joe’s dance floor. Consider yourself preemptively cock-blocked.
3.) Obscure References: If your costume takes more than a sentence to explain, you’ve gone too far. No matter how awesome you look, no one has the attention span to listen to the background and life story of your costume character. So your costume is based on a character’s one-liner from a quirky TV show that was canceled after one season? Gee, I can’t believe I couldn’t figure that one out.
2.) Couples Costume: Unless you’re conjoined twins, staying with your costume partner on the night of Halloween is like assigned reading. You say you’re gonna do it, but eventually you just kind of forget it exists. Suddenly, you’re walking around as Tom Hanks from Castaway yelling, “WIIIILLLLSOOONNNN!”
1.) Not Dressing Up: No costume, no treats. Halloween is the one night a year you can dress up as virtually anything you want. No one likes the person who’s “too cool” to get creative. There’s a special place in Hell reserved for those who wears nothing but a piece of paper with “COSTUME” written on it. Suck it up and throw on a cape, loser.