Making friends is tough, but when you follow these steps we put together it’s almost guaranteed you’ll have everyone’s attention. Whether they’re laughing with you or laughing at you, talking with you or talking about you, there’s one thing you can count on for sure: Your new classmates will know who you are.
10.) Hold hands with your neighbor for the entire lecture:
While their resistance may be particularly awkward, never let them slip away. This form of physical intimacy may be uncommon in Western cultures, but Asia and Africa seem to be rocking it with style. If necessary, bring handcuffs to class to truly show your soon-to-be friend that you’re in it for the long haul.
9.) Give unsolicited, brutally honest advice to everyone in your vicinity:
Trust is a big part of friendship. By proving to your neighbors that you’re not afraid to lay down the cold, hard truth, they’ll instantly respect you. Don’t be surprised if some of your new friends take offense to your advice; they’re just not familiar with that level of honesty. Once you break their spirits, they’ll readily accept your friendship.
8.) Bring donuts to class, complain to your neighbor that there are holes in them:
Jokes and breakfast pastries? You’re the whole package! Even if your funny falls flat, no sane person can deny the deliciousness of a Krispy Kreme. You’ll find yourself surrounded by a fattened posse in no time.
7.) Rest your head on your neighbor’s shoulder:
We all need that friend to lean on when the stresses of syllabus week become unbearable. Initiating a trusting relationship with a complete stranger is entirely normal. The more you make them feel important, the more they will depend on you for self-confidence!
6.) Stalk your lab partner to their next class:
Your creepy dedication will be rewarded once you become totally in sync with your partner. With identical schedules and matching clothes, he/she won’t be able to ignore your devotion to true friendship. Just think of that restraining order as a declaration of your friendship.
5.) Be a “bro”:
We all secretly love the mirror flex and watching you get your pump on with the course textbook, so wear those super deep v-necks and start referring to your professor as “dude.” Because even though you disgust us on the outside, we’ll always have a beer-soaked soft spot for you on the inside.
4.) Twerk your way to your seat:
Instead of debating whether to scoot in the row ass or naughty parts facing others, you know what to do with that big fat butt… take it to the next level by shaking your donk all the way to your seat! Like Miley Cyrus, you’ll turn heads with your raunchy moves and drum up a whole new fan base overnight.
3.) Take a selfie with your neighbor:
Nothing says friendship like mutual narcissism. No one can say no to a selfie and various facial expressions will prove to your Facebook friends (and your neighbor) just how close you two have grown over the past fifty minutes. If you whip out a selfie stick, you’re guaranteed to befriend the entire lecture hall.
2.) Speak with an Australian accent:
Sexy, enchanting, enticing. What more can you look for in a friend? You’ll instantly gain the admiration of the entire class and may find more than just friends – if you know what we mean. While effective, this method requires a semester-long commitment, at least.
1.) Sit right next to someone in an empty lecture hall:
With the pick of any seat at your fingertips, choosing a seat next to the only other person shows true intent for friendship. Once situated, make sure to snuggle your arm in to share the armrest with them as well. It may be a tight fit but they’ll soon realize you all are meant to be the best of friends in a 100-level gen-ed lecture.