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Top 5 Illini Karaoke Songs To Sing at Joe’s and Firehaus Karaoke Night

Illinois’ top academic clubs and bottom-tier houses are back on campus to karaoke their hearts out at Joe’s and Firehaus. The Black Sheep has updated some of your favorite karaoke bangers to belt out and then regret the next day when you see Snapchat videos.

5.) “Come on, Lovie”:
In the Style of “Come on, Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runner

Come on, Lovie
Oh I swear this football team
At this moment, they’re on a losing streak
You on that field, oh my thoughts I can’t yield
Please stop losing
Ah, come on, Lovie 

This one goes out to you, Lovie Smith. Since you couldn’t deliver on that whole “#WeWillWin” promise, it’s probably time to remind you that no one cares. It’s time to stop pretending Illinois has a chance this year. 

4.) “Sweet Red Lion”:
In the Style of “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond

 Haaands touchin’ other people’s butts
Reaching out, touchin’ me
Stop touching meeeeee
Sweeeet Red Lion
BA BA BA
Good times never cost so much
SO MUCH SO MUCH SO MUCH
I’ve been inclined
BA BA BA
To never wanna leeeave but now I…

 As the anthem of white people everywhere, this song emphasizes the culture of The Red Lion. If you paid $10 cover to hang out in a dark room with sticky floors, that’s really your own fault. Dancing on tables with 16 of your least favorite sorority sisters and those weird guys who haven’t left you alone since they bought you a vodka soda has never felt so good, so good, so good.

3.) “Don’t Stop Believin’ (In Your GPA)”:
In the Style of “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey

 Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to that 2.3
C’s get degreeeees tooooooo
Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to your GPA
Photoshop all your transcripts
For your mooooooom

 There are two things in life you should never stop believing in: the fact that you should never sing karaoke after six Jagerbombs and the fact that you always will anyway, even the night before an exam. This updated version of the song reflects your failing grades after you spend a night boolin’. Just remember that not everyone is cut out to be an engineer, someone has to work in journalism.

2.) “The Boys are Back on Their Bullshit”:
In the Style of “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy 

The boys are back on their bullshit
(The boys are back on their bullshit)
The boys are back on their bullshit
(The boys are back on their bullshit)

 At the beginning of the school year, there’s one thing that everyone can agree on: it’s time to get back on the bullshit. The best way to do that is through this song, consisting of seven words since nobody can remember the rest. Everyone’s too drunk to realize what song is playing or how much money they just spent on a Baja Blast anyway.

1.) “KAM’s”:
In the Style of “Africa” by Toto

 IT’S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM KAM’S
THERE’S NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED BOUNCERS OR MORE COULD EVER DO
I BLESS THE BLUE GUYS DOWN IN CHAAAAAAMPPAAAAIGN
GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO GET BACK TO URBANA

 This timeless classic is perfect for the sorority girl who can’t get enough Blue Guys and Blue Balls. Good luck dragging her out of KAM’s at 2 a.m. even when she’s already puked and rallied six times in the bathroom. If you’re really lucky, she’ll be whisked away by someone who she’ll inevitably end up falling asleep during sex with.

Whether you’re out celebrating a birthday, a bar crawl, or just the fact that it’s a Wednesday, remember to always celebrate the best school in Illinois. Incorporate it into your favorite karaoke songs, no one’s listening anyway.

 

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