While it certainly doesn’t feel like it outside, it’s the beginning of fall. This means Pumpkin Spice Lattes, patterned scarfs and endless trips by UIUC students to the cutest acre of land in East Central Illinois: Curtis Apple Orchards. If you’re looking for a fall-inspired Insta post, try to take these seven basic white girl pictures at the Orchards, as modeled by a boy.
7.) Picking Apples:
Basic bitches can pick their nose, their friends and at the Curtis Apple Orchard, they can pick their apples. The opportunity to kick one leg back into the air while reaching for an apple clearly too high for a 5’3 girl to pick is a great photo opp.
6.) Being Dragged In A Wagon:
If there’s anything basic girls like doing, it’s getting their BFF in their pictures as well. The wagons at Curtis are usually for pumpkins, but can easily hold these Naperville girls that live on a diet of kale and quinoa. It’s easy to relive one’s childhood in this totally Insta-able pic.
5.) Drinking Your Sippy Cider:
For the measly price of $3.49, Curtis Orchards sells a sippy apple-shaped cup full of apple cider. While the cider tastes like regular Minute Maid apple juice, it’s a cute pic, while the sippy cup doubles as a way to sneak alcohol into Pygmalion 2017.
4.) Eating a Donut:
After a quenching drink of apple juice/cider, basic girls love to take a picture eating a cinnamon apple donut. Another great food picture at the Orchards and another 300 calories right to the hips.
3.) Swinging On A Pole:
Since it’s midterm season, most girls don’t have the opportunity to stop by the Silver Bullet, but still need an opportunity to freshen up their skills on a pole. Swing your hips right around the pole and smile big.
2.) Sticking Your Head In Dorothy:
A classic Champaign tradition at the Orchards is to get the gal pals together and stick their heads through the Wizard of Oz squad. It’s important to make sure your head goes into Dorothy, though, because she’s the most important character in the story, and obviously the basic girls are the most important people.
1.) Sitting in the Big Chair:
Even better than the Wizard of Oz headshot, some people go to Curtis Orchards specifically to sit in this big chair. Sit in the chair, throw what you know and upload it immediately to Facebook to be your pro pic.
Curtis Orchards is a hot destination this fall for young women looking to garner hundreds of notifications on their phones that people pressed a heart button on a pixelated photograph. Get the squad together and pick some apples this month.
This one’s for all of you who’ve been duct taped inside a porta-potty: