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Tragic: UIUC Sorority Girl Digs Deep Inside Herself And Discovers Nothing But Surface

A UIUC sorority girl, who wishes to remain anonymous, came to a disturbing realization this weekend after coming up inconclusive on a BuzzFeed personality test.

“I was stunned,” she told The Black Sheep. “I thought it was a glitch on the website, or maybe the wifi tweaking, so I took the same quiz over 100 times to be sure.”

Sadly — but not surprisingly — it was neither the wifi nor the website. After a thorough and arduous self-evaluation, the answer was clear: She did not have a personality to begin with.

Shocked by this new revelation, the student turned to what comforted her most: her mediocre YouTube channel and her 100 followers. “Keeping my followers up to date with what’s happening in my life is crucial. I can’t appreciate their support enough during this difficult time.”

When asked whether the discovery upset her, she replied, “I was upset for a very long time, but now I’m starting to think BuzzFeed was just jealous of me.”

Then we inquired about her self-evaluation criteria. Her response: “I just went around my sorority and asked my sisters to describe me with one word. Most people responded with ‘eh’ or ‘not much there,’” then added, “What exactly is there supposed to be?”

Unfortunately, we could not answer this question for her. We did, however, encourage her to ask her YouTube followers.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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