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Two Sorority Girls Reportedly Trapped In Red Lion Bathroom, Stuck In Loop Of Endlessly Complimenting Each Other

This past Monday night at The Red Lion sorority girls, Jessica Higgins from Alpha Omega Phi, and Vanessa Jones of Pi Chi Epsilon, went missing from the group of girls they came to the bar with.

Higgins’ sorority sister and roommate, Liz Fisher, was deeply concerned throughout the night.

“As soon as ‘Mo Bamba’ came on and she wasn’t by my side singing every freaking word, I knew something was up. That’s like, her song,” Fisher explained.

As it turned out, the two missing sorority girls were trapped in an endless complimenting circle – when one compliment ended, another resurfaced, to the point that the two girls were trapped in that bathroom through the duration of the night.

Yet, at closing time, the two were finally set free when the bar closed and worker Chase Matthews yelled at them to get out.

“Those girls need to learn how to take a compliment and move on,”said Matthews. “It was almost like they were, like, in love or something. Both girls had to be the one to say the final compliment. Girls are weird, I don’t get it.”

Although the girls will likely never see each other again, the compliments have boosted their self-esteem like nothing else.

“When a dude compliments you it’s like, ew,” Jones said. “But when a girl in a bathroom does, you know it’s genuine. That girl was really cool. Wait, what was her name again?”

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