One’s cheap like your mom, but the other can fit 4 people in it and accepts credit, also like your mom. So, which is the better way to get around campus? Better find out!
MDMA: I’m just gonna say it. CUMTD is the best way to get around campus. Sure, you have to leave on someone else’s schedule. Sure, past 9 p.m., it’s filled with drunk freshmen who pregamed in their PAR dorm room for Wine Night like IDIOTS. But, at the end of the day, it’s free–once you pay your student fees–and it’s not like that Trump-supporting organization known as “Uber.”
Thomas ‘Paign: Look, I don’t really care what the political affiliation of my mode of transportation is. At the end of the day, I’m just trying to get from Point A to Point B, and I’d prefer to do that in a Honda Accord with a lavender Febreze plug-in than a bus full of swamp ass. Until CUMTD has a hit song about them, I’ll keep coughing up a few bucks each trip to Uber everywhere. Skrt skrt.
MDMA: CUMTD gives people the chance to experience other people that look different from you. It should be a requirement to ride the bus instead of cowering in fear in the back of Jonah’s silver 2009 Dodge Charger. And if we’re keeping track of songs about Uber, MadeinTYO uses Lyft now. #DeleteUber
Thomas ‘Paign: Why not just use UberPool then? You get to share a ride with people from all walks of life and you get to split the cost. The fact is that riding on CUMTD restricts your options of travel whereas Uber will take you anywhere you want, wherever you want and there’s even a chance they’ll let you take the aux on your trip.
WATCH: We interviewed drunk people on Unofficial. Did not disappoint.
MDMA: How about UberPool and rideshare in general doesn’t exist in every place? Namely Champaign-Urbana? I have a personal vendetta with a company that undermined the #PowerOfThePeople protesting Trump’s ban. Why not just use Lyft? The drivers still earn cash and users can tip their drivers on a ride well done. What’s your beef with gratuities?
Thomas ‘Paign: Why not just use Lyft?!? That’s like asking “is Pepsi ok?” when I specifically asked for a Coke. That being said, I’d choose Lyft over CUMTD any day of the week. But what it all boils down to for me is personal responsibility — if someone throws up on the CUMTD bus, there is no justice. If someone throws up in an Uber, their ass is getting fined. That’s the America I want to live in.
MDMA: You know what? You’re right. The “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality has always worked in solving problems. There aren’t systemic problems with capitalism; people are just lazy! Wow! Pack your bags up everyone. The problem is solved, the war is over, and we’re going home! CUMTD allows me to get to my desired locations without taking out another student loan. And P.S., Mr. Accountability, those who puke on the bus get their ass left at the next stop.
Thomas ‘Paign: It sounds like your true preferred mode of transit is a trip in the wah-mbulance. Give me a break! If you damn millennials spent half the time working an honest job as you did complaining on the internet, you’d have no problem affording an Uber. With Uber, the possibilities are endless. Craving a Big Mac at 3a.m. but live all the way in Urbana? With Uber, you can get there. It’s a mobility option that’s as American as apple pie and manifest destiny.