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If UIUC Buildings Were Fonts

 

There’s a lot of debate going on around the country and at UIUC lately about politics, sports and other things that trigger people, but nobody seems to be arguing about one of the most important topics: fonts. To get the conversation started, The Black Sheep decided to share what kind of font different UIUC buildings would be.

 

7.) Armory – Wingdings:

armory

The Armory is quite possibly the most ridiculously designed building at UIUC, with bathrooms inside of stairwells and floors that seemingly don’t seem to exist from the outside. Fittingly, as nobody understands how the Armory works, even fewer people would be able to decipher a research paper that was written in Wingdings.

 

6.) Business Instructional Facility – SemiBold Gill Sans:

Version 2

 

The Business Instructional Facility is one of the newest buildings on campus, home to an Espresso Royale, and incredibly green and environmentally friendly. Gill Sans is a futuristic font that would probably enjoy a latte before heading off to class. It’s SemiBold Gill Sans because business students are also going to believe they’re better than everyone else, and they’re going to make some semi-bold moves in the industry like working where their dad works.

 

5.) PAR Dining Hall – Wide Latin:

Version 3

 

PAR’s dining hall is home to “late night,” which gives high UIUC students the opportunity to take care of their munchies with a breakfast buffet at 11:00 p.m. on a Monday. In turn, it is one of the most popular dining halls on campus. Letting students eat food at all hours of the day, especially those unnecessarily late times at night, making kids wide, just like Wide Latin.

 

4.) English Building – Impact:

Version 4

 

Agree or not, English majors are typically noted as being one of the most useless majors to have a college campus. UIUC’s English Building is home to plenty of creative writers and those students that feel like they’re making a massive “Impact” on society, but they really aren’t.

 

3.) Grainger Library – Avenir Next Condensed Demi Bold:

 

Version 5 

Grainger is one of the few places on campus where engineering students can escape the harsh reality of a world full of peasants involved in Greek life and have a moment to be a true academic. While Grainger seems ideal and smart on the outside, just like Avenir Next Condensed Demi Bold, it really is just a basic building full of rooms with shelves that aren’t too excited. Basically, like the font and most UIUC frat daddies, Grainger disappoints.

 

2.) Art and Design Building – Comic Sans:

 Version 6

 

Art and design majors use the Art and Design Building to work on 5th grade art projects and to do graphic design, all of which would result in you thinking that there are some really creative students on campus at UIUC. So, no font says fun, spunky, spontaneous, and creative than the perfect font for the title of a PowerPoint slide: Comic Sans.

 

1.) Memorial Stadium – Bodoni Ornaments:

Version 7 

 

Whatever Bodoni Ornaments is and actually stands for is precisely Memorial Stadium. Don’t lie; a font like Bodoni Ornaments intrigues us all, as does Fighting Illini football inside Memorial. As with the Stadium, very quickly with Bodoni Ornaments you realize it is absolutely something you don’t want to associate yourself with, similarly to the drunk townies sitting in the upper bowl of Memorial Stadium with you when the Illini are down by 20 to a bunch of Gophers from Minnesota.

 

As UIUC turns 150 years old in 2017, every building tells a story, and that story is in a specific font. Just don’t get those mathematicians started on what kind of Excel equation every building is.

 

 

Something so bad, 12 beers later, is so, so good.

 
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