UIUC Gamma Beta Beta fraternity member, Bruce Jefferson, has made it his life’s mission to make it on Illini Barstool just one time during his four, potentially five, years at the University of Illinois.
As a senior, Jefferson is running out of time to reach his goal.
“Getting posted on Illini Barstool’s Instagram would get me so much clout in the house,” Jefferson explained. “I need this or else I’m nothing.”
Jefferson has reportedly sent in videos of him shotgunning a Keystone Light six separate times, each time being ignored and overshadowed by another frat guy from a top house bonging a Four Loko. It is speculated that each video Jefferson sends is just not quite good enough to be featured.
“He’s been trying for three semesters to make it on to Illini Barstool,” said Gamma Beta Beta brother, Mark Todd. “I’m tired of recording him every time we throw a darty. It’s consuming his life.”
“Yeah, we’re just ignoring him on purpose at this point,” said Illini Barstool representative, Jacob Carlson. “He’s got the motivation, but something about his shotgunning style is just all wrong.”
Jefferson continues to submit videos via Instagram DM to Illini Barstool every chance he gets, he said.
At press time, Jefferson was seen shotgunning his second beer of the day out of the “three beers I shotgun every day for practice.”
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