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UIUC Senior Practices Self-Care By Skipping Class For A Week

UIUC’s senior population has recently been afflicted by a highly contagious condition known as senioritis. Monica Sterling, a UIUC senior affected by the ailment, has bravely taken on drastic self-care methods to avoid certain death.

“I woke up for my 11 a.m. after staying at Monday Night Lion ‘til close, and getting up just seemed too mentally exhausting for me, so I decided to stay in bed,” Sterling explained. “It really was an act of self-care. I need to make sure I’m well enough to make it to senior night tonight.”

UIUC freshmen, sophomores, and juniors are having trouble understanding the condition’s implications. Her roommate, junior Samantha Smith, is no exception.

“Every time I see her around the apartment she’s either sleeping or watching One Tree Hill, yet she still manages to complain that she’s just ‘so busy,’” Smith ranted. “The gag is, my workload is three times heavier than hers this semester.”

Although it bothers her roommates, Sterling stands by her self-advocating behaviors.

“I’m just so busy – how do they not understand that?” Sterling groaned. “Yeah, I haven’t been to class in one week, but they don’t understand what I’m going through and haven’t even tried to empathize with me. Going to Lion every night really takes a lot out of you.”

Other UIUC seniors see Sterling’s practices as inspiring and have vowed to behave similarly until their senioritis is cured. The only cure, of course, is moving to River North in Chicago and working a job with a low starting wage.

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