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Sorority Girl Claims to Understand Hardship After Walking From KAM’s to Lion in 50-Degree Weather

Kappa Kappa Kappa member and UIUC sophomore Lizzie Conway recently came forward with a troubling confession. Conway, a young, privileged white girl from the Chicago suburbs, has been exposed to real hardship for the first time in her life. When Conway stepped foot outside of KAM’s this week after the temperature dropped below 60 degrees, she experienced an epiphany.

“I left KAM’s at 12 a.m. to meet this hot Delt I met on Tinder at Lion, and as soon as I walked outside, I felt the hypothermia coming on,” said Conway, shivering at the memory. “My life flashed before my eyes, and I started to wonder if going to Lion to get laid was really worth an early death. But I pressed on. It was a really difficult walk, if I’m being honest, but it really got me thinking about the less fortunate.”

Conway explained how, in just her ripped American Eagle jeans and Brandy Melville crop top, she was finally able to understand how hard it must be for families who don’t have homes or warm clothing and blankets during the winter.

“I was fortunate enough to escape the cold once I made it to Red Lion, but not everyone is that lucky, especially the homeless people on Green Street,” Conway said. “I think I might even dip into the weekly Red Lion allowance my parents send me and give it to the less fortunate when I see them on the way to class.”

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