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UIUC Student Starts Mid-April Lovers Club

 

UIUC sophomore Tyler Rollins is looking to recruit members for his newly founded “Mid-April Lovers Club.” 

 

“I was in the October Lovers Club,” Rollins told The Black Sheep. “And that club makes sense. October is a great time: Halloween, autumn, leaves changing colors and haunted houses. But, mid-April is even better. Mid-April is a damn special time that don’t get no respect.”

 

Rollins claims there’s “just no 1/8 of a season like the present.”

 

“This is truly an incredible time of year,” Rollins continued. “There are just so many things going on, like that one thing and that other thing and those other things that are happening at that place with the trees. You know, like mid-April stuff, there’s nothing like it.”

 

However, Rollins really seems to struggle to put his finger on what exactly is so great about the middle of this particular month.

 

“Trees are really doing special things during this 10-day span,” Rollins exclaimed. “And the rain, oh golly do I love the rain! And students cramming for their final round of midterms! What a time to be alive!”

 

However, people that claim they know Rollins aren’t so sure why he’s starting this club.

 

“He’s got a lot of issues,” Kim Crouch, an October Lovers Club member said. “This is unmistakably the worst time of the year. Like a mid-January club, that’d be pretty chill. Mid-July club? That’d be pretty hot. But mid-April, nothing happens during mid-April.”

 

Crouch says this is a “weak attempt” by Rollins to find a new social group.

 

“Betwix you and me, Ty-Ty was actually kicked out of the October Lovers Club for his lack of enthusiasm for October,” Crouch whispered. “Don’t get me wrong, the boy likes pumpkins, but he just wasn’t as truly devoted as the other members of the club are to loving the month of October.

 

However, Crouch and other members of October Lovers seemed happy for Rollins.

 

“He does really seem to have a thing going on here with the middle of April, though, and this may be a way for him to make some new friends,” said October Lovers Club member Susie Williams. ”It’s a weak attempt to make a new social group, but I’m glad that he’s really committed to loving this part of the month.”

 

Rollins says his plan to grow the club is to set up a table in front of the Union and harass people on the Quad into taking his free stuff.

 

“I’m really not afraid to just walk up to random people and ask them to join the club,” Rollins said. “But the thing is, I don’t really have anything to give them after I harass them because not much happens during the middle of April.”

 

The club’s first social event, “Standing in the Rain Alone on the Quad” will be held this Friday.

 

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