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Why Every Girl Should Be a Sorority Girl: A Guys Perspective

Amidst the controversy surrounding the article “7 Reasons Why Dating A Sorority Girl is Better: A Guys Perspective,” as a true fraternity gentleman, I believe that it’s a severe injustice to judge women based on their affiliation, or lack thereof, to a sorority. Out of respect, men should determine a woman’s worth based on their individual qualities. Unfortunately for women not in sororities, their unique qualities just cannot compare to the stunning women of the Greek community. Therefore, in order to gain the admiration of us men, all women should be required to join sororities. 


The University of Illinois has one of the largest Greek communities in the nation, making us experts on what it truly means to be Greek. The primary qualities men initially judge women on can be summed up by the acronym F.A.T: Face, Ass, and Tits. As president of a top house fraternity, I can attest that there’s not a single sorority woman who does not have a flawless face, an ass-tounding ass, and bouncy boobs. Even a strong “4” can instantly become a weak “8” by just accepting a bid. Being in a sorority is predominantly about looking hot for us guys. Having 149 other women to criticize your looks builds character and forces women to look amazing by any means necessary. GDI’s just do not have that kind of motivation to make them anywhere near attractive. 


In addition to F.A.T, men also look for brains behind the beauty. Members of the Greek community have a higher GPA than the university’s average GPA. Subsequently, all sorority women are much smarter than those who choose to go through college independently. Not only do sororities provide great study groups, they also supply the necessary “resources” to make sure those grades stay tip-top. Even if you skated into U of I on some legacy bullshit, your chapter is going to get you A’s by any means necessary. As a result, most sorority women are communication or advertising majors. Choosing the easiest majors gives the illusion of being really smart with the transcripts to prove it. Non-Greek women with their scientific, engineering majors may sound impressive, but their C’s are just as average as their personalities.  


Furthermore, Greek women possess the necessary experience to please a man. A crucial component in determining a woman’s worth is figuring out what she can do for you. What benefits will you see from this relationship? Sure, deflowering a virgin is something to cross off the bucket list but inexperience is like holding a child’s hand across the street. And you don’t want any kids in your bed, trust me. She should already know what to do with that hand if she wants to get in with fraternity men. Being in a sorority exposes women to many social events and therefore, many eligible bachelors. With ample opportunities to seal the deal, sorority girls always manage to take that Walk of Shame with pride. Fraternity men don’t care about your aspirations and childhood dreams; we care about where we can stick it. If you’re putting it out, best believe we’re gonna take it. 


Ladies, do us men a favor and join a sorority. Sorority girls contain the whole package (and can take care of one too). It’s possible that non-Greek women may possess all the great features of a bombshell s’rat girl but without those letters, guys just don’t have the time. If you’re truly committed to finding a man who will love you for all you’re worth, throw away those values and rush, baby, rush.

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