We all wish that our alcohol was just a hop, skip, and a jump away. While it’s not too hard to get a drink on the University of Iowa campus, it could be easier! Here are five places in Iowa City that should definitely serve booze:
5.) The Power Café in the Rec:
Picture this: stocked on the back shelves, the Power Café is packing more than just some sexy bananas. It seems the university realized the football players deserve a little pick-me-up after beating Ohio State. You order a vanilla vodka, strawberry, and banana smoothie. This shit is so lit that there’s a line out the door waiting to get a sip. Who needs Advil when you’ve got four shots of tequila in your mango smoothie to ease the pain?!
4.) The food stands in the Ped Mall:
After bar close, you aren’t ready to stop drinking. You’re too lazy to find another party and drinking alone in your apartment sounds like a bad time. Imagine if you could get an ice cold Bud Light with your Cool Ranch Dorito-stuffed grilled cheese sandwich! The fun doesn’t have to stop when you can get some tequila shots with your walking taco. The cops can whistle at you all you want, but you’re still gonna take a piss in an alley to make room for your next vodka cran.
3.) The Prairie Lights coffee shop:
How are you supposed to understand all the motifs in a novel without a little pick me up? You wont have to sneak in a flask onto the second floor anymore when you can get a strong Irish coffee, or a shot of Fireball in your artisanal herbal tea! With a book in one hand and some spirits in the other, you begin to understand that *GASP* Amy has been alive in Gone Girl this entire time! You also believe you have a better understanding of Ulysses than that hipster-looking graduate student, and you’re ready to fight him if he dares to question you.
2.) The IMU marketplace:
During finals week, you’d really love to crack open a cold one and kick back in a rest nest. What if, along with pizza, chicken strips, and sandwiches, the marketplace offered an entire beer tap with more than 13 options to choose from? The marketplace could even offer a brewery tour and a free sample of their home-brewed IPA, “Black and Gold”. It’s brewed with the homesick tears of freshmen and the berries from the shit trees surrounding the Pentacrest. Bottom’s up!
1.) The Nite Ride and Safe Ride bus services:
Imagine: a free taxi service with a full bar in the back. Nite Ride and Safe Ride become THE party buses of Iowa City and all you wanna do is keg stand in a moving vehicle. A tip for the new riders: if you sing “The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round,” you’ll get your first body shot free. Be sure to try some of their signature drinks like “Can you take me back to Long Island ice tea?” and “Where did I put my key lime margarita?”
Campus would be a happier place if we all had warmer bellies and a lot more chill. With finals approaching, sometimes you gotta let loose and drink the academic pain away. If these five Iowa City locales sold liquor, we’d be set for life!
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