Iowa city is hot, sweaty, and fucking rank, but there are some spots that magically smell like the inside of Cortado. When you’re walking down Clinton Street, did you notice how Daum smells like sugary Hurts Donuts from Coralville? Iowa’s entire campus has sweet spots that give you a break from the constant sewer stench that permeates the area. The Black Sheep discovered the six areas that somehow smell amazing in the summer heat that’ll help you avoid those patches of hot garbage air next to Dirty Burge.
6.) The alley by PepperJax:
Usually, it smells like rotting beef and underage throw up, but for some reason, the summer heat makes it smell more like the inside of a Bath & Body Works instead of those shared second floor pod bathrooms in Stanley Hall. It can actually be kind of overwhelming if you don’t like insanely amazing-smelling lavender bath salts and cheddar cheese mixture that permeates the air.
5.) The entire Iowa River:
On a typical day this place smells like algae and toxic waste, but it’s like the heat makes everything better. It actually seems like you could swim in it during the summer. Just ignore the floating trash and potential river creatures that might bite your toes off.
4.) The playground on the Ped Mall:
Sure, it’s probably covered in dirty diapers and temper-tantrum tears, but these Iowa City kids really know how to clean up. Car air fresheners are tied up all around the play area, which make it have that new car smell. This spot is definitely Herky-approved when it comes to smelling like freshly popped popcorn in Kinnick.
3.) The basketball court by Burge:
This area always smells like sickly sweet maple syrup and broken dreams, but in the summer it just smells like sugary syrup and happiness. The usual scent tends to come from new freshman living on Scotcharoos who forgot their first midterm starts in five minutes across campus at the Adler Journalism Building. With the sugar-starved eighteen-year-olds at home eating broccoli, that leaves the basketball court smelling lovely.
2.) The entirety of the EPB:
It just smells like mold. Now it smells like the English majors decided to use too much ocean-smelling Febreeze. English majors love the scent of old, dying books, but no one else does. Thank Kirk Ferentz the building had the common sense to spruce up for the summer while those book lovers are away.
1.) The shit-berry tree next to the Pentacrest:
Weirdly, with heat, the hideous stench of rotten cheese and farts is gone. It’s actually nice to walk around the Pentacrest at 100 degrees (besides the fact that you’re drenched in sweat).
It’s only a matter of time before Iowa’s campus goes back to reeking every time you walk by on your way to class. Take a deep breath before you literally won’t be able to without gagging.
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