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7 Hidden Treasures You’ll Find Buried in the MacBride Museum

Secrets that students have never seen before lie behind the walls of the MacBride Museum. One of our bravest staffers (yours truly) is staying on campus over the summer, and since it’s hot af out and this is one of the few cheap places to go with A/C, did some digging and have now become your guide into navigating the secret wonders of this building. Come along and discover the seven hidden treasures you’ll find buried in the MacBride Museum.

7.) A haunted lecture room:
171 years ago, a lecture hall was built. One year later, Iowa closed it. Hidden behind bricks and cobwebs, you stumble upon it in your casual exploration of the wetland exhibit. The room is hot and dark, like the basement classrooms of the EPB. At one point, the temperature shifts to freezing cold and you hear a voice whisper “Please stop going to Summit. Don’t @ me.”

6.) Iowa’s most exclusive club… inside a whale:
So that giant whale hanging from the ceiling? It’s the most exclusive summer club and now you’re on the invite list. Drinks are made from the purest Iowa River water and literally every song has to do with H2O. Also, if you haven’t seen the 1995 sci-fi/thriller Water World, the entire tail of the whale is a dedicated screen room just for that.

5.) An entire room full of live pelicans:
So there’s plenty of lifelike birds hanging out throughout the entire museum, but there’s a secret room where Iowa has been breeding pelicans for upwards of 100 years Interns at the museum sign a non-disclosure agreement, the university gives them credit, and the students spend the next year cleaning up pelican poop. Who knows how the pelicans stay alive during the summer, but its definitely a must see while you’re roaming around the museum.

4.) The flame of everlasting life:
Years ago, it was foretold that someone would stumble upon a hidden passage within the halls of MacBride. That someone turns out to be you. Fight your way through old skeleton demons and past pesky arrow traps to hopefully discover at the end of the journey that it was never about everlasting life. You learned about you and realized you just want to get your accounting degree and get the fuck out.

3.) Corn:
There’s lots of corn in Iowa, but did you know about the mystery corn game inside the museum? MacBride used to hand out flyers to kids so they could go on a corn scavenger hunt as they explored. The best part was that it was real corn. Nowadays, the corn has since rotted, but the museum never cleared it out. If you’ve ever wondered why MacBride always has that musty, starchy smell, now ya know!

2.) The children of the corn:
Some kids got lost during the corn scavenger hunt and were never found. Well… enter the children of the corn. If you were looking for some other way to get involved at Iowa, but hate going to the org fair, here’s your chance. The children of the corn are very accepting as long as you are willing to sacrifice your first born child for next year’s corn harvest.

1.) Lusty the Sloth:
Everyone knows and loves Rusty the Sloth, but did you know he has an ex-girlfriend living under the same roof. Hidden further back in the exhibit, Lusty peeks her eyes out from behind the leafy trees and glares at Rusty. She awaits the day when he comes crawling back to her, but for now Rusty would rather entertain the masses. Sometimes, if you listen close enough, you can hear Lusty mumbling about no good men and their dumb ambition.

Just for spending time in the MacBride Museum, your anthropology class grade has gone up 5% and the class hasn’t even started yet. Use your new discoveries to throw the coolest party at Iowa or bury yourself deep in the walls only never to be found again. A summer in the MacBride Museum is the best summer an Iowa student could ask for.


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