One week it’s spring, the next week it’s subterranean. Tuesday you’ve found your perfect seasonal cuff, the following Thursday he’s pre-Valentine’s Day ghosting you. It’s February. Iowa City is full of anomalies, and it’s the perfect time to let your freak flag fly. Here’s seven reasons why this wild, 28 day month brings out the freakies:
7.) It’s (kinda) warm again (sometimes):
That’s right, you can officially b-b-break it down to three layers instead of six. Sure, you might not feel your face when you finally get to class, but it’s worth it to feel a little sunshine on your ghostly skin. Nothing says “darty” like temps above 20 degrees, so break out those swim trunks and Hawkeye bucket hats — it’s time to get outside and get weird.
6.) You’ve given up on New Years resolutions:
That first week of school was brutal: refusing to look Summit in the eye, hitting the gym, and getting a reasonable amount of sleep. Now that your goals for 2018 have slowly slipped out of reach, bliss out and just accept that you’re the same piece of shit that you were on December 31, 2017.
5.) Valentine’s Day = chocolate and (maybe) sex:
Every time you stop in Hyvee to grab a pound of orange chicken or swing by CVS for some Mucinex, there’s a box of romantic chocolates staring you down. This season is all about the sexy marketing — even if you’re single, you’re a part of the beautiful consumerist mosaic that makes up this country! Go ahead, treat yo self, and while you’re at it change your Tinder bio to say: “Anyone. Seriously, anyone.”
4.) School is still a distant reality:
What time does your class start on Thursday morning? Does attendance count toward your grade? When is the midterm? These are questions that you still might be mulling over, and February is the perfect time to keep putting off their answers. Your final grade is nowhere in sight, so don’t sweat it. Maybe crack open a textbook while you sit at Airliner drinking beer on a Monday afternoon.
3.) Spring break is a not so distant reality:
While you can’t remember what project you have due on March 9, you do remember the exact time and gate where your flight to Cancun is departing on March 10. February is the season of dollar wells and Walmart trips. Stocking up on sb2k18 supplies, saving money, and building up as much tolerance as you can before you bring Iowa’s reputation international.
2.) Aquarius/Pisces szn:
The coolest signs around will be flexing their astrological features this month, filling Iowa City with poetic angst and a blazing sexual energy. You may notice that that girl with purple hair in your MacBride lecture has become extra involved in the discussion section, or that the guy with mad Flo you always see in EPB has a new swagger about him. Thank the stars for that one.
Keep your eyes open this month for seniors reaching their breaking point. Whether it’s streaking across the Pentacrest, getting fucked up at Saloon before 10 p.m, or attempting to eat every pie shake from Hamburg in one night, freaky February guarantees a slew of senior crises on campus. At least the emotional instability of others is fun to watch from afar!
Iowa City is special place, and there’s never been a more special time of the year. In this lovely limbo between real life obligations and online-spring-break-bikini-shopping, anything is possible. Turn a blind eye to responsibility this February and get freaky — we promise you (probably) won’t regret it!
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: