Connect with us
Connect with us

Iowa

8 Pick Up Lines for the Horny Hawkeye *in* You This Valentine’s Day

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: skies are gray, candy is expensive, midterms are looming, you’re still fat from winter break, and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. To help nudge Cupid’s arrow in the right direction, The Black Sheep has compiled a list of pick-up lines that are guaranteed to make even the most hesitant Hawkeye hunnies swoon:

8.) “I’d love for U and I to get closer.”
A University of Iowa classic, this suave line is sure to send your cutie patootie sprinting all the way from his South Dodge crib to your Church Street bach pad.

7.) “Hey girl, wanna edu-roam into my pants?”
You’ll connect quicker than the speediest campus wifi. Bae’ll be knocking at your door before you can even verify your HawkID, slick-mf@uiowa.edu.

6.) “Blue to Booze, Red to My Bed?”
Impress that special someone with your detailed knowledge of Cambus routes, as well as your ability to retain simple rhymes whilst inebriated!

5.) “Mesa?”
*gets down on one knee* *pulls out a beautiful white box* *opens box* *reveals sublime slice of mac and cheese pizza* *gets laid*

4.) “Girl, I’m No Cambus, But I Could Take You Home in Ten Minutes.”
Like a skilled Cambus driver, we could rev you up from 0-25 real quick. And then back to 0. Then 15. Then 0. Then 25. Then 0. Iowa City has a lot of stop signs.

3.) “EPB Mine ;)” 
Nothing is sexier than the moist, creaky English Philosophy Building! Fun fact: the hallways were designed to be riot proof—but not LOVE proof!!! Ugh. Fuck this holiday.

1.) “I’m No UBill, But I Could Still F*ck You Every Month.”
Buy her an Oasis snack pack and offer to pay all her university parking tickets to seal the deal. Side note: pay your UBill.

No matter the occasion, these pick-up lines are sure to land you a lover, or at least a V-day bae. And if all else fails, word on the street is Rusty the Giant Sloth is newly single and DTF.

Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame:

Continue Reading

More from Iowa

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top