There are plenty of tips, tricks, and tools out there to help college students find LOVE. However, if you’re a Herky fanatic who just wants to settle down with your significant other underneath the Cedar Rapids Quaker Oats Factory, have no fear! The Black Sheep can hook you up with a comprehensive list of every type of guy in Iowa City:
The artsy guy who loves the Voxman Music Library a little too much:
He is most likely pre-law and enjoys mansplaining meditation in the Clinton Street Starbucks.
The boy on the UI wrestling team that will call you “dude” during a minor disagreement:
He’s from the Nebraska-Iowa Border but still somehow classifies himself as a “southern boy”.
Frat Joe, Frat Danny, Frat Tanner, Frat Chad:
They wear Hawaiian shirts Thursday through Saturday and think feminism is “wild”.
The theatre boy who will sing to you! (And maybe also cheat on you at a Habitat party!):
He has a septum ring and his name is Eli or Taylor.
Boy who owns a longboard and rides it often and well:
He’s sweet, but says things like, “I consider FilmScene my true home.” He lives in a triple in Slater.
Know anyone at one of these schools?
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $100 if they’re hired!
Penn State – $300 Referral Bounty
Indiana – $300 Bounty
NC State – $300 Bounty
Guy who ignores his mom’s phone calls because he’s playing Fortnite in Burge:
He hasn’t been to a lecture since February but on the plus side, he has a lot of free time to spend with you!
Keds-clad linguistic student who for sure doesn’t own nail clippers:
Although he is “anti-organization”, he went to the Iowa/Michigan game extremely drunk and screamed “FUCK STATE” the whole time. Afraid of commitment.
Super-senior who is “too cool for IMU” and refuses to buy textbooks from the Hawk Shop.
Perfectly unashamed to take a stoned nap at Yotopia.
White guy who’s way too into the restaurants in the Old Capitol Mall.
He is easily spotted because he will be wearing cargo shorts and a faded Anime t-shirt to Summit in January. You’ll be engaged within a year.
Boy who is concerned about the Feng shui of his Governor Street apartment:
He cooks wholesome, vegan meals and frequents the Iowa City Farmer’s Market. Find him, love him, and make him your Chip Gaines.
Iowa City is rich with literature, art, and the Midwest’s finest men! Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a standing meet-cute with a guy named Kevin. He wants to meet at Pancheros. Fingers crossed!
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: