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Nation Shocked that Villanova has Football


Upon hearing the announcement that ESPN’s College Gameday will make a trip to Harrisonburg for the game between JMU and Villanova, millions of Americans expressed shock over the existence of a Villanova football team. With reactions running from a slight surprise to outright denial, College Gameday followers were completely blindsided by the news.


“Wait, Villanova has football team?” said Vince Rosenblum, North Carolina resident and college football fan. “When did that happen? Is this a new thing? Are you sure you don’t mean Temple?”

Those living in Philadelphia were particularly shocked by the news. Many residents in the City of Brotherly Love stated that they had no recollection of any such football team ever existing. Some even insisted that the story wasn’t true.


“Look, I’ve been a fan and alum of Villanova for over thirty years,” said Ted McKinley. “I have never once heard anyone talk about any football team. I would’ve gone to a game if there was one. This is totally fake news.”


Villanova Athletic Director, Mark Jackson, went on the record stating that he hoped College Gameday would bring some recognition to the program.


“Look, we’re more than just a basketball school,” Mr. Jackson stated, while polishing his 2015 NCAA Basketball National Championship ring. “At Villanova, we compete in a lot of different sports, including football. In fact, we won the FCS national title back in 2009. I think we got that trophy around here somewhere. Hang on, let me check my garage.”


Those in charge of College Game Day concurred with Mark Jackson’s sentiments, stating that they hope to bring recognition to these two football programs at the national level.


“It is not always about going to the biggest schools,” Lee Fitting, Game Day Producer and JMU Alum, stated in an interview. “It is about going to the best stories. We feel that JMU has the best story this week. Wait, who are they playing again? Villanova? Really? I didn’t know they had a football team.”


Luckily, things are looking up for the Wildcats of Villanova. Google searches for Villanova football is up over three percent. Furthermore, ticket sales are also up, almost guaranteeing a potential record of eighty percent capacity crowd for their next home game. The Dukes of JMU will face the Villanova Wildcats at Bridgeforth Stadium this Saturday at 3:30 p.m. Anyone wishing to purchase tickets is shit out of luck or rich.






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