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The 2018 KU Drunk Food Bracket: Round 1

It’s here. The time of year we’ve all been waiting for. March, where it becomes socially acceptable to put literally anything on a bracket and decide which one is the best. Well, here in LFK we do a lot more than basketball. We drink. And when we drink, we eat. So, where’s the best place to drunkenly stuff your face? We’re pairing your tournament bracket with our very own KU drunk food bracket, so before you go ahead and cast your vote on Twitter make sure to inform your decision.

The Pizza Division:

1.) Wheel Pizza:
The go-to destination of every Triangle-goer as the night begins to simmer down, The Wheel is the epitome of prime real estate. Students mentally and physically ravaged by a night in The Hawk are drawn to the gooey, cheesy goodness of the iconic Wheel pizza like drunk, distraught moths to a flame.

8.) Pizza Shuttle:
College is the time to take a walk on the wild side — get fucked up at a frat party, try sweaty, passionate lesbian intercourse, and experience Pizza Shuttle cream cheese pizza. A night of binge drinking in your friend’s dorm is incomplete without a delivery from a friendly Pizza Shuttle employee. Pizza Shuttle gets gobbled up by sober people easily enough as it is, so it’s certainly a top-shelf choice when inebriated.

The Burger Division:

3.) Burger Stand:
Burger Stand is a heavily versatile establishment — take your parents here for a delightful lunch on Saturday, after you got done wolfing down two Kobe burgers after working up an appetite at Sandbar or Tonic the Friday night beforehand. Burger Stand also has a gourmet edge on the competition — food crafted so carefully, you would probably put it behind glass if you hadn’t torn into it like the hammered slob you are.

6.) Pepperjax:
Pepperjax has a shitload of options. Phillies, fries, bowls, and burritos. Another establishment right smack dab in the middle of where you stumble between Brothers and Tonic.

The Mexican Division:

2.) Burrito King:
Royalty is indicated in the very name of this establishment. While it unfortunately bears the drawback of being a little far from most Lawrence bars, it’s always worth a drunk Uber to pay a visit to the King. Not only will your babbling drunkard tuckus be blessed with a delicious burrito, but you’ll get it fast since everyone else is waiting in line at Fuzzy’s.

7.) Fuzzy’s Taco Shop:
Fuzzy’s functions as the gateway to Mass. Street, as well as the gateway to an absolute Valhalla for intoxicated taste buds. Much like the Wheel, Fuzzy’s employees practically expect you to be drunk when you show up on certain nights of the week, so they know exactly how to tickle your fancy. It’s a shame you’ll never remember just how heavenly that soft taco was.

The Sandwich Division:

4.) Pickleman’s:
Described as “Subway for hipsters,” you can get any variety of pizza and sandwiches. They’re open late and conveniently located in the middle of Mass. Street, so you can drunkenly navigate right too it.

5.) Jimmy John’s
Maybe not as recognizable as a “drunk food” establishment as others, but who cares, you’re drunk. Grab yourself some Jimmy Chips, a BLT, and go wild with your plastered friends while the family in the booth across from you shields the eyes of their young children from your foolish antics.

And without further ado, we give you A VINE POWER HOUR.

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