Welcome back to school! Entering the spring semester is literally so difficult emotionally and physically, so to get the gears turnin’ for the start of 2017, let’s reflect on some of KU’s history. Not necessarily the ~cool~ well-known things, like how good we are at basketball or how good we are at basketball. No, let us all take a glimpse into the last four or five years of more obscure events that have happened on this fine campus.
6.) Guy Fawkes’s Day? (2014):
On November 5, 2014, a crowd of weirdo virgin Internet trolls donned V for Vendetta masks and terrorized campus, breaking into classrooms in Budig and Wescoe and causing a downright ruckus. These idiots wanted to bring justice to the campus, but instead people just feared for their lives and one professor tackled one of them to the ground. Prettttty cool stuff.
5.) KU Just Catches On Fire A Lot (2016):
So if you have a basic knowledge of our school, you know that the Union legitimately exploded in 1970 and burnt to the ground, give or take a few classrooms. Our campus is just as flammable as it is lovable, because different portions of campus keep catching ablaze, namely the bushes outside of Fraser in the spring of 2016. We are still patiently waiting for some arson-loving faculty member to come forward and take blame.
4.) We Also Blew Up A Building on Purpose (2015):
At the beginning of fall semester of 2015, plans were set for the demise of McCollum Hall; an ancient eye sore that graced our campus in 1965. People gathered around to watch it explode and it felt like a scene from that Tom Cruise movie where the world is ending. Wait, isn’t that all of them? RIP.
3.) Our Lord and Savior, Unicycle Guy (2014-2015):
Unicycle Guy was a household name throughout the 2014-2015 school year. At any time of the day, students were blessed enough to see him pedaling like a mad man down Jayhawk Boulevard on his way to and from class. After that first year, however, Unicycle Guy disappeared, never to be seen again. Maybe he got a real bike? Either way, we miss you Uni Boi.
2.) The Reason the Hawk Needs Chaperones (2012):
Inside one of Lawrence’s most notable yet deplorable establishments, the Jayhawk Café, is where one finds the Boom Boom Room. Affectionately referred to as the ‘Boom,’ many an 18-year-old has grinded on someone/something within the walls of this distasteful cavern. In fact, in 2012, there was a couple who really actually did the dirty in there! They had sex! On the dance floor! Of an underage bar! Check, please!
1.) Also, Taylor Swift Went to the Hawk One Time (2009):
Yeah, she really did. Country phenomenon turned bitch came to our neck of the woods way back when she was certainly not old enough to be drinking! Honestly, we’re all hoping she couldn’t hang, that she stumbled her way back to her lodging that evening with her own vomit in her hair, that no one knew any of her music, and that she burned that fucking terrible purple skirt.
Now that you’ve been caught up on some of the bizarre and forgotten happenings at the University of Kansas, just hold your head up in hopes of more weird-ass KU history to be made in the upcoming semester. And if you are the provider of the weird shit, mazel! You’re making it more interesting for the rest of us.
Weather is weird man, why do we go here?: