Another slew of midterms have finally passed, leaving many students relieved, or somehow even more stressed out than before. Yes, midterms are alleged to take place right around fall break, but one can typically assume that the entirety of October and March every year will be spattered with high point value assignments and a series of exams and essays, all of which forced down the student’s throat; all of which said to be “not that difficult, as long as you study.” It’s a dark time for everyone, but now we can finally look forward to the end of the semester, and all of the bonuses that come along with the holiday season. Bonuses like…
6.) Seeing Your Drunkest Uncle Again:
Holidays means spending time with family members you see about once a year, at most. These family members have the ability to be interesting, fun, and engaged in telling wonderful stories. Like that one time you were dropped on your head, incidentally into a mirror. There are also the family members you may remember and think, “Has it already been a year?” Whether you’re ready for them or not, your drunkest uncle or your most boisterous aunt are sure to make an appearance at your holiday potluck, so make sure you keep your ear plugs close and your political opinions even closer.
5.) The Pretty Lights on Massachusetts Street:
Holiday season also means that we will be seeing the beautiful, sparkly lights that decorate our Mass. Street. And, they are perfectly secular, since the lights go up well before Christmas and stay with us until mid-February. By that time it’s all a little tiresome, but the notion is appreciated initially. Everyone loves some twinkley holiday cheer!
4.) Nap Time All the Time:
We may have moved passed one of the more difficult points in the semester, but that does not mean we are finished just yet. There are still grades to get up before stop day (December 9, mark your calendars!!!) research essays to start drafting, and final exams for which to cram. So, in anticipation of spending all your nights in Watson or Anschutz, it’s time to pick out a designated pillow and blanket to carry with you on campus. A fan favorite is a Jayhawk PillowPet that hinges onto backpacks with ease. Word is the best place for a quick “study break” (snooze) is the 5th floor of Watson, deep in the stacks. Sweet dreams!
3.) The Death of the Oak Mites is Nigh!:
Who else is pumped for the first frost? Oak mites have been terrorizing the campus and surrounding areas around Kansas this season, and it’s time for them to perish. These microscopic nuisances are airborne, flying every which way, biting victims as they fall to the ground. The science behind it is wack, and it’s been ruining so many people’s lives. Luckily for us, the temperatures are finally dropping enough for these despicable pests to finally freeze to death in their icy graves.
2.) Election Season is ALSO Over:
Despite the candidate of your choosing and whether the American people have voted to put that candidate into office, we can all take a deep breath of fresh air now that this hectic election is done. Between actual harshness exchanged during the three presidential debates, and the parodies that arose because of it (bless you, Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon for the distraction, and for severely improved second-hand impressions), this election season is finally through. Now we can look into the impeachment process, and whether it can be implemented before a president-elect is even sworn in.
Thank goodness we have basketball to take the place of this sad football season. After all of that struggle, it is nice to turn it around and root on the Jayhawks in our #3 placement in the 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball rankings. With regular games at Allen Fieldhouse on the horizon, we can look forward to early mornings with lottery and late nights with camping to ensure the perfect seat. In reference to lottery and camping, see the previous piece of advice in re:bringing a pillow and blanket everywhere you go. It will definitely come in handy.
So, fear not, Jayhawks. We can beat on and make it through this semester. We already made it this far, and that is a goddamn miracle!
If they didn’t want you to drink all 30 beers in one night, then they wouldn’t put them all in the same box: