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7 Hells of Leavenworth, Kansas


Leavenworth is known for many things from the prison, the historical military fort, its diverse population, and most importantly the prison. Leavenworth might look just like any other small Kansas town but with a closer look it’s still just a small Kansas town that shares all the same seven hells of any other Midwestern town; this place just has a giant federal prison.

7.) Crawling down Metropolitan Ave.:

You’re having a great day, you just left Missouri passing the blue bridge and you’re thinking life couldn’t get any better suddenly, it appears time itself has stopped all around you as you’ve become stuck in motionless standstill. Nope, you’re just going 35 mph on a major highway to make sure you don’t hit one of the many tumble weeds that’ll pass by. But hey at least you’ll get a good look at the prison.

6.) The prison:

Fine fuck it let’s get this over with and talk about the damned prison already. It’s a fun daunting sight to see where some of the governments biggest criminal offenders have been kept, like Michael Vick for his infamous dog fights or Wesley Snipes for the third Blade movie. If that doesn’t impress you then the buffalo sure will. After all Leavenworth passed having KU for this prison so might as well enjoy that great decision.

5.) Going downtown to see our crippling economy first hand:

From time to time, boredom will overtake you leaving you few options but to seek refuge in the downtown district of Leavenworth to see what shops have lost the fight for relevance this year. Maybe Dad’s Toys will still be open, or perhaps that one store that sells old military regalia from both world wars and beyond for some reason. Who knows!  

4.) Try your luck at the Landing 4 Theater:

The Landing 4 Theater: For when you just don’t feel like making the 20-minute drive down to Legends! Here you can get all the perks any movie goer can ask for from squeaky seats that barley fit your ass, to surround sound that will make your ears bleed blood. Who knows, maybe they’ll actually play the movie you paid for this time instead of Snakes on a Plane AGAIN.

3.) Abeles Field:

Trading from one school to the next, Leavenworth High to Immaculata, Abeles Field is the proud home of many defeated and heartbreaking seasons. You can almost smell the sad lingering stench of defeat embedded within the stadium itself. Actually, that’s probably the sewage plant 20 ft. away. At least the smells on the visitor’s side of the field.

2.) Super Wal-Mart:

Super Wal-Mart is a special kind of high school reunion that we all know we have to face at one point or another. Who could forget the wonder and awe of the town when we finally received a Super Wal-Mart with not just two, but three whole entrances of possibilities. Most of which would result in you running into that guy from Algebra 2 that won’t shut up about his new truck with a horn that’s noise level is way louder than what’s actually legally allowed.

1.) The decaying ruins of the Leavenworth Plaza:

Finally at the epicenter of the abyss of Leavenworth, lies the Leavenworth Plaza in all its former glory. Be among the many to break in to see firsthand the testament of man’s arrogance in the form a Sears and Radio Shack that thought it could survive 2010. Honestly, you’ll probably just find kids smoking pot. It’s a tossup.

If you’re interested (or bored enough) to check out Kansas’ rich history than look no further than the first city of Leavenworth where it all began.

Speaking of boobs…wait never mind. Anyway, listen to our podcast! 

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