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A Jayhawk’s Guide to Shit Talking K-State

It’s almost that time for KU to play KSU in football, which unfortunately for us, also means it’s almost time for us to submit to them. While we can still hold on to the hope of us winning, it’s best that we step up our shit talking regardless. So here’s a helpful guide on the best things to talk shit on:

Like cool, you’re good at football. But remember how bad you are at basketball?
KSU fans are quick to point out how much better they are in football, but somehow suddenly forget the fact that their team sucks when basketball season rolls around. It’s great that KSU is average at football, but nothing gets students more hyped than basketball season. If you really want to get under a KSU student’s skin, just drop the words “basketball season” and watch all hope fade from their eyes.

What’s it like living in a town full of cow shit?:
While KSU has the advantage when it comes to football, they still have to go home to Manhattan at the end of the day. Nothing could be more disappointing than heading back to a town literally full of cow shit. Plus, they have to stare at the awful Manhattan sign that sits atop Manhattan hill. Unlike Lawrence, where all you see when you come into town are billboards about how many national championships we have.

Is your school diverse? Is it?
If you’ve ever wanted to experience diversity in Kansas, Manhattan is the last place you’ll want to visit. KSU’s campus is similar to what a sea of mayonnaise would look like. Actually, that may be insulting to mayonnaise. Sorry, Hellman’s.

Wildcats? Wow. Original.:
Another Wildcat?? What a concept! KSU’s mascot is only one of the most used mascots in collegiate sports, and the costume doesn’t even look good. First of all, Willie the Wildcat is often seen wearing a jersey and a wildcat head. Is he a human/wildcat hybrid? Does KSU do so poorly in revenue that they can’t even afford a decent wildcat costume? Smh.

EMAW stands for “Every Man A Wildcat.” While EMAW may be a clever little hashtag to use while they talk shit on the Jayhawks, it sounds stupid as hell and it’s too easy to turn into #EMAWFUL, and that’s exactly what everyone does. Sorry ‘bout it, Wildcats.

Why you so obsessed with KU??:
KSU students just love talking shit on KU. Why else would they chant, “fuck KU,” at every public event they attend? Are they all closet KU fans? Or are they just upset at the fact that they couldn’t go to KU because agriculture isn’t a major here? The world may never know.

Just remember, it doesn’t matter what topic you choose to talk shit on, because at least we’re giving KSU the attention they’ve been craving.

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