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Kansas Defeats Kansas State; Kansas State to Increase Acceptance Rate to 100% in Hopes of Recruiting a Better Team

 

The University of Kansas Jayhawks defeated the Kansas State Wildcats for the second time last night in a dramatic fashion. In response to the 74-71 loss, Kansas State University officials have made public that they are to, once again, increase their acceptance rate in hopes that they will be able to recruit better players.

“Currently the acceptance rate is at 95%,” Kansas State’s Director of Admissions, Molly McGaughey. “That means that essentially we take anyone who can hold a pen and legibly write their name, but after last night’s loss we decided that we should lower the expectations so we can have more students try out for our basketball team.”

In addition increasing the acceptance rate to 100%, Kansas State also plans to decrease the age that students need to be to apply from 17 to 11. Head coach Bruce Weber believes that dropping the age range will help him recruit a better team.

“After losing two games to Kansas, I think that we could use just about anyone to come and play for us,” said Weber. “I saw some kids playing at the park when I was back up in Milwaukee and I think that they could be on our team. I mean hey, they don’t dribble, but according to Svi Mykhailiuk, you don’t really need to do that anymore.”

One clause of the increased acceptance rate is that any incoming Kansas State freshman will be required to try out for the men’s basketball team regardless of whether or not they can shoot, have played basketball before, or are a man.

 

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