This semester, KU opened a new science building on campus: the Earth, Energy, and Environment Center. Half of the project was funded by KU while the other half was funded through “private donors,” which here at KU means the Koch brothers.
Yes, in a random act of kindness, the state of Kansas’ very own climate-change-denying supervillains helped fund a building dedicated entirely to environmental education! As such, the Kochs have declared that the teaching of “climate change, global warming, or whatever you Prius driving communists want to call it” is strictly prohibited.
When pressed on it, the Kochs firmly stood their ground, irately asking, “What does climate change have to do with environmental research?! You can just step outside and see if it’s hot or cold! There’s you’re climate change. One day it’s 60 degrees, the next it’s 30. What’s the fuss about?!”
The U.S. Secretary of Energy, Rick Perry, called the KU energy building’s ban on teaching climate change a “shining example of what the future of environmental education should be,” during a speech he gave at conference for oil and coal executives. Perry gave three reasons for why he loved the decision, but couldn’t remember the third one, saying “oops” before awkwardly walking off the stage.
When asked about the decision, one EEEC employee conceded, “Yeah, it’ll be difficult to do climate research without being allowed to research the climate, but at least we’re getting paid really well to deliberately deny reality.”
Under new rules, when asked by students about climate change, instructors are required to shout “it’s just a theory!” and run out of the room.
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