The University of Kansas is full of thirsty bros and hoes shamelessly on the prowl for their next sexual or romantic endeavor. Of the many opportunities to talk to the one who could be the one, it’s likely that your crippling social anxiety and lack of self-confidence will cause you to miss your chance. Craigslist is full of creeps and townies, so for your convenience The Black Sheep carefully browsed and picked out some KU Missed Connections, hopefully narrowing down the dating pool and increasing your chances of finding love:
Hottie at the Hawk:
I saw you across the Boom Boom Room. You wore high-waisted jorts and a Forever 21 crop top the same color as the Jayhawk shot you spilled on it. We locked eyes. You looked away and puked on your Big’s shoes. It was cute. Message me.
Flirty Barista at Anschutz with Ponytail:
I ordered the Almond Fieldhouse. I told you my name was 555-3267 and asked for extra sugar if you know what I mean, as I suggestively raised my eyebrows and winked at you. You went in the back and someone else made my coffee. I waited around for you to come out, but after 30 minutes I had to go to class. One week later and I am still eagerly awaiting your text.
Mascot? More like mascHOT:
Ohhhhmygaawwwdd Big Jay!!! You definitely were flirting with me at the football game last weekend. I know you were. You came up to me and my friends and you messed up my hair and I said, “Stooooppp itttt Big Jay that’s soo not cool” (but I secretly liked it). It’s like you knew I loved a man in uniform. The way you shook your tail at halftime made me want to get my beak wet if you know what I mean (sex).
To the Big Booty Beauty on 43 Red:
The bus was crowded. I was sitting down and you were standing in the aisle with 100 other people, packed like sardines. Your perfectly round rump threatened to rub up against me as you stumbled around when the bus stopped short. It was the most beautiful bottom I’d ever seen. I wanted so badly to reach out and slap your cheeks like a set of bongos, but I am a gentleman who respects women.
My Modern Romeo:
My house mom would never approve. My sisters would be appalled. I know I’m not supposed to fall in love with a fucking geed but the second I saw you playing Boggle at Java Break, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I know Greeks and GDI’s are sworn enemies, but what’s in a name? That which we call jungle juice by any other name would taste as sweet, or whatever. LMK if you’re DTF.
Beauty on the Beach:
To the tall, dark-haired beauty handing out flyers for swing dance classes on Wescoe Beach. Yes, I would love to go dancing with you. But I think you forgot to give me your number, and your name, and your address. I hope you see this; I’ve never touched a girl before.
Whether you’re looking for a fuck buddy or a future hubby, KU missed connections is here to help you reconnect. Do not contact us with any solicitations.
Zombies, and footballs, and beers oh my: