Jonathan Anderson, a KU junior, finally put two and two together to realize that he was conceived in the Watson stacks next to eight dusty copies of Great Expectations.
“Oh yeah, I’m not surprised. Just kind of embarrassed I didn’t realize it sooner. <y parents explained to me that when two people really love each other, they go at it in the in the middle of the Watson stacks, and that sometimes, someone will get knocked up and they’ll have a forever memory of that time that they spent bumping up against some psychology textbooks.”
Jonathan’s parents, Carol and Dan Anderson, were reluctant to tell their son about his conception because they were certain he would have guessed by now, but they’ve had no regrets since.
“It’s nice to see Jonathan feel like he has such a better connection to Watson and KU now. I mean, he’s been a Jayhawk since approximately 1:15 a.m. January 14th, 1997,” said Carol.”Now when he goes to study, he can feel more at home.”
Jonathan, however, has always known that he’s a Jayhawk through and through, and that he had to have been conceived at least somewhere close to KU.
“I used to pass by Watson and just feel a tug at my heart. Now, I truly understand the reason, and kinda fee gross about it,” Jonathan said, while leading his girlfriend up to the stacks. “But, my parents really did start a legacy, and I promise to continue humping next to some books I guess.”
Since the interview, KU’s campus police have banned Jonathan from Watson. Apparently no legacy is worth finding dried up semen in the middle of a book’s spine.
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