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After Seeing His Shadow, Bill Self Prepares for 6 More Weeks of Nail-Biting Close Games

Bill Self and the KU basketball team emerged from an intense practice Friday with one thought in mind: “Will Self see his shadow?”

Upon exiting Allen Fieldhouse, Self reportedly pulled a handkerchief from his suit pocket and braced himself for his moment. Crowds of KU students, staff, and faculty gathered, waiting anxiously. The crowd chanted, “Bill! Bill! Bill!!” with hope in their hearts, as the basketball team was seen praying silently.

After stepping out of Allen Fieldhouse, Self did in fact see his shadow. Six more weeks of nail-biting basketball games was the prediction.

With March Madness just around the corner, the prediction is believed to effect the Jayhawks not only in their regular season; but also throughout the tournament.

“I just didn’t see this coming at all. We’re really going to have to put the work in. Especially since I’ve just recently read that Villanova, Purdue, and Kentucky’s coaches all walked outside their stadium and didn’t see their shadows,” said point guard Devonte’ Graham.

Self was reported to have done everything he could to prevent this tragedy of seeing his shadow on this momentous occasion.

“I tried repositioning the sun a few minutes before we even held this event. I figured since the campus refers to me as a ‘God among men’ that it could easily be done, but no such luck,” he said.

“This isn’t the outlook we were planning on, but with the actual groundhog predicting six more weeks of winter, I guess the bright side is that we’ll be staying warm with all the extra practice we’ll be putting in,” said shooting guard Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk.

CAPS has since cleared all previous appointments in order to take in any and all students who are unable to cope with the prediction.

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