The halls of our university’s giant cinder block have harbored many Jayhawks throughout the years since the early 1970s. Wescoe Hall might not be the most magnificent building in our historic district of campus, but nevertheless students find themselves here every semester taking a class for the Core or even for their majors. When one finds themselves in this weird dungeon two or three times a week, one learns a few of the unspoken rules of these halls and how to maneuver them with dignity and respect.
Rule 1: Be Smart at the Roasterie in the Underground:
The Underground is one of the many dining areas on campus open to all students, faculty and staff to make grabbing a quick bite to eat easy as pie in a very central part of campus. At the Roasterie, you should be getting in line on the half hour. Get in line at, for example, 11 a.m. or 11:30, because this will pretty much guarantee that the line will be dwindling or just starting up, and it’s the perfect opportunity for you to grab a coffee, or as it is brewed at the Roasterie, hot mud water.
Rule 2: What Not to Buy at the Hawk Shop:
Also in the Underground is the Hawk Shop, a small convenience store right next to the Roasterie. A piece of advice; don’t buy your condoms here unless it’s an emergency. They are free at Watkins Health Center, and it is also kind of off-putting to buy condoms in the middle of the day in a building where you most likely have a class within the hour. Beak Healthy and don’t Beak a Weirdo.
Rule 3: Avoid the Second Floor if Possible:
The second floor of Wescoe is dedicated to the School of Languages, Literature & Cultures, and is where one can find the bulk of the French and Italian professors canoodling before lecturers. Note that there is no one at KU more pretentious than an American who speaks fluent French or Italian. So, it would be advisable to make sure you are wearing your Sunday’s best when entering this floor to avoid the inevitable side-eyeing that is bound to come your way.
Rule 4: Also, Steer Clear of the Third Floor:
The third floor is where you’ll find the English department; another example, if less pretentious, of audacious professors and lecturers giving scathing elevator eyes like candy on Halloween. However, on the “third floor” is also where one finds the lecture halls, but oddly enough they not attached to the building and can only be entered from outside. Next to the lecture halls is where you’ll find one of the only private, single stall bathrooms on campus. Jackpot.
Rule 5: Check Yourself Before Your Wreck Yourself on the Fourth Floor:
Finally, the fourth floor is where many students set up shop for long- or short-term studying against the wall, on the red benches, or at the tall tables on the outside of classrooms. Here, it’s important to keep voices low and belongings close since classes are still in session. Folks also are not afraid to kick their feet if they’re not tucked in close enough to the wall. This floor also has the worst water fountains and smelliest bathrooms, so take the necessary precautions.
These rules will surely help any new or old student navigate through Wescoe Hall seamlessly.
Posted by The Black Sheep on Monday, October 17, 2016