Louisiana is finally experiencing some form of fall weather, just in time for bye week. Even though you won’t be able to watch LSU football destroy the hopes, dreams, and loved ones of an opposing team, there are still several ways to pass the time this Saturday in lieu of tailgating.
5.) Build a Life Size Statue of Mike:
What better way to spend bye week Saturday than erecting a 300 foot statue of the beloved, fallen Mike VI? Needed materials: 600 wooden pallets, a SHIT-LOAD of Elmer’s school glue, and a RIP Mike VI soundtrack for motivation.
4.) Unfriend/Unfollow Everyone from High School:
Do you really still care how many fucking children Tammy Dugas has popped out since 2013? Spare yourself from seeing dozens of pro-Trump posts and unfriend her. Maybe now you’ll have enough phone storage to save some of those basic AF dog filter snaps.
3.) Build Up Your Alcohol Tolerance:
Even though you won’t be spending this Saturday sweating your ass off covered in Keystone Light with grass stains on your pants, it’s still important to make sure your alcohol tolerance doesn’t go on a downward spiral. So each time you think about the fact that there is no football game this week, take three shots of the shittiest whiskey you can get your hands (or feet?) on.
2.) Track Down Leonard Fournette:
It’s probably his free week too? This is your perfect opportunity to meet this monster truck of a human being. Just follow the smell of Ole Miss tears and he’s bound to be at the end of the trail, sitting on a giant throne made out of bones that he’s personally crushed.
1.) Decide on Your Halloween Costume:
From Slutty Mike the Tiger to Ghost of Les Miles, the possibilities for Halloween costumes this year are limitless. As long as you avoid the soon-to-be overused Harley Quinn, you’re in the clear.
Hopefully these five options have provided you with enough material to satisfy your innate craving for LSU football and tailgating. If none of these activities are enticing enough for you, the boldest of LSU fans, perhaps take up crying into a bowl for a straight 48 hours over the absence of a game. Happy bye week, Tigers, get some rest.