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5 Things to Hide from Your Parents Before They Come to Baton Rouge for a Tailgate


Most game days are a shit-show of sweat, blood, and tears that span over a 14-hour period. You start off with a morning beer and go to sleep on a curb outside of Mike’s. From dawn to dusk you probably make a ton of mistakes and do a lot of things you don’t want your parents seeing. Here is a friendly reminder of what to make sure your parents don’t see on game days:


5.) Your Tolerance Level:
If you’re a 130-pound teenager with the alcohol tolerance of Charlie Sheen, it may be pretty obvious to your parents what you spend your free time doing. This is something you’ll definitely want to hide from mom and dad.


4.) Crippling Depression:
Since they are probably spending thousands of dollars on your education, food, bills, and alcohol, your happiness is coming at a high price. When your parents come to visit, make them happy and stow away your depression until they head back home.


3.) Your FWB:
Considering that most southern parents are religious, it’s probably a good idea to tuck away your special friend for the time being. Pretending you’re still sad and alone is better than explaining why you and your FWB aren’t “Facebook Official”.


2.) Prescription Pills:
If you’re like most college students and survive by alternating between Adderall and Ambien, make sure you clean your apartment/purse out before your parents get there.


1.) Your Suitcase Full of Parking Tickets:
Any LSU student knows the heartache of parking on campus and the gut-wrenching pain you feel after getting a parking ticket for leaving your car in an employee spot for literally five minutes. As most of us know, if the tickets aren’t paid they’re added to your fee bill. Hide them away for the year and let your future-self deal with them.


Hopefully this list touched all the bases of your shitty life and will provide as somewhat of an insurance to cover your ass when your parents visit for the weekend. If not, then have fun back at your hometown’s community college when you’re parents force you to move back home.




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