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DO’s and DON’Ts of Finals Week at LSU

 

The countdown starts. Finals are almost here. Will you survive? Probably not. But don’t worry, we put together a list of DO’s and DON’TS in order to ensure you make it through your finals alive and ready to come back this fall for another semester of tiger tailgating. Wait what?

 

DO give yourself enough time to contact your local drug dealer before your first exam. Supplies run out fast during finals week. Be smart here.

 

DON’T bribe your professors but DO offer to donate to whatever research they are working on. Seriously… even to that one physics professor who’s spending his research on time travel.

 

DON’T talk to your significant other. Do you really want to listen to all of their bullshit while you’re trying to study? Bitch please. *blocked*

 

DON’T drink 10 red bulls in 24 hours. That’s the fastest way to meet your creator. But just in case, DO enroll in extra life insurance and perhaps write up a will. Your dog’s future depends on you.

 

DON’T take all of the given time to finish your exam. DO walk out of your exam in 20 minutes with a big smile and tell everyone how easy it was. Suckaaaas.

 

DON’T eat breakfast. Starve yourself so you pass out during your final and can be exempt from taking it.

 

DO buy anti-diarrhea medicine so you don’t shit your pants when you get the first look at the final (especially if the person next to you has a different test).

 

DON’T cheat on any exam…it’s ethically wrong. DO let others cheat off of you instead, so they fail and the curve is better.

 

DON’T go to Middleton to study. That particular week, it becomes the most depressing place in the world. Plus it smells bad ’cause kids don’t shower this late in the semester. DO take a shower AND carry around Insomnia Cookies in case you see a cute girl who happens to be crying. Hint: There will be thousands…especially near Starbucks in the Design Building. Come to poppa…

 

DO ask the homeless for tips and advice because there is a good chance you will be homeless soon. But DON’T give the homeless any money or food because you’ll need every bit of it in your future…which is as existent as Manti Teo’s girlfriend.

 

We hope you found our list to be more helpful than all SI sections put together and good luck to everyone! You will need it!

 

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