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7 Dorm Rules Everyone On LSU’s Campus Has Ignored

Throwback to move-in day freshman year. A thrilling time filled with all manner of sights, sounds, and questionable smells. And rules. So many rules. Here are some the ones each and every one of us has broken.

7.) No candles:

When your roommate spends the weekend having passionate primal sex on every possible surface, there is little else one can do to alleviate the smell of 6+ semen samples collected in a 10×10 ft space. You need candles and you need them STAT. Fuck the rules. Fuck the smoke alarm. And fuck your RA, Louise.

6.) No pets:

There is a plethora of creatures on LSU’s campus that have made their way into dorms. Whether you picked up a stray cat in Tigerland or somehow captured a mange-ridden squirrel, we’ve all stretched the “fish only” rule once or twice.

5.) No visitors after 3 a.m.:

We eat dinner at 3 a.m. 3 a.m. is the new 7 p.m. We have a right to entertain whoever we see fit.

4.) No slamming doors:

What about Meredith down the hall with her slamming headboard? Hmmm?

3.) No alcohol:

This rule is not ignored so much as it is blatantly disrespected. Slip a few dollars under your RA’s door and you’ll come home to a fifth of fireball waiting at your door.

2.) Non-LSU guests must check in:

Are you telling us that Chief the homeless veteran from State St. has to give you his license for the duration of his stay? Have some respect.

1.) No smoking:

Is this rule observed anywhere? You’ve got hundreds of students with severe nicotine addictions and an exam in half an hour. Good luck enforcing this one.

Just remember, kids: while you might think you were a badass during your freshman dorm days, you were no better than the rest of us.

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